Martin Luther King once said that in the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. This past weekend, I was with a group of friends and family celebrating my brother’s bachelor party. At one point in the evening, we stopped at Enoteca Roma Winebar & Bruschetteria, a small, trendy spot on the northwest side of Chicago. The air of the establishment was one that would prompt you to act prim and proper within its perimeters.
Perhaps working for the Urban League causes me to look at everyday occurrences in the context of civil rights and how people of different races and cultures interact with one another. It was very difficult for me not to notice in the entire outdoor patio, our table hosted the only individuals who were not white. Our group consisted of 6 Indians, 3 Caucasians, and 1 African American. Our waitress, Gianna, was also Caucasian.
Gianna was taking everyone’s order which consisted mostly of beer, and when she got to the African American who wanted coffee, she revealed that the coffee bar was closed. He was distraught at the unavailability of coffee and made a remark to the individual sitting next to him about why a late night spot would stop serving coffee. He asked for tea and as Gianna took his order, she was thoroughly upset. Many of the individuals at our table pondered over the reaction and we all shrugged it off and went back to the business of having a good time.
Seemingly, a server could be having a bad day, or perhaps some life circumstances would affect the level of service that may be offered. However, it is difficult to overlook the dynamics of race in these sorts of interactions. Who knows, perhaps if the African American were a blond-hair, blue-eyed jock type, she would have been tickled and humored at the irony of a late night café discontinuing the service of coffee. Or maybe Gianna has just never been exposed to different cultures and different people and different dialects. That is nothing unusual.
For the last year, I have served as the minority representative on a city commission that guides city funding among community services. Recently, I was appointed to serve on a special interest committee and shortly thereafter, another woman on the commission questioned the validity of my appointment, and further questioned my professional abilities to serve the interests of the commission. Several other commissioners came forward and expressed their discomfort with her actions, and one questioned whether the divides in our group were based on race and color. I certainly felt it. I was being attacked, and those around me questioned it.
Again at Enoteca Roma Winebar & Bruschetteria, I felt it, however no one questioned it. No one confronted the waitress to determine if there was a problem. No one pointed out that her service and treatment to one person at our table was different than everyone else on the patio. No one probed to investigate why. No one elevated the matter to the manager. In fact, one of my brother’s Caucasian friends ran after the Caucasian waitress to console her emotions during her overwhelmingly stressful encounter.
Our world is full of sheltered individuals who have never been outside a twenty mile radius of their comfort zone. Though we can not expect that everyone will have life experiences that encompass different cultures, we can expect that people will be respectful of all the different life experiences that exist in our country, all of which shape us as individual people. The days of signs in restaurant windows reading things like “Whites Only” are supposed to be long over. Therefore, public establishments need to be prepared to serve people that may not look like you, dress like you, talk like you, or wear the same skin-tone as you, or have the same ring-tone as you. This is the United States of America. Read the US Constitution if you need a refresher on what that is supposed to mean.
A conversation after the event revealed that the African American on our table actually was hurt by the treatment, just as I was on the city commission. He definitely felt that the waitress was somewhat racist. I definitely felt it. I just wish I said something at the time because as Martin Luther King said, the silence of our friends speak volumes louder than the words of our enemies.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Hotel Americana, Owned by Immigrants?
For some time now, there has been a battle within the hotel industry between properties that are owned by immigrants or those of ethnic decent versus those that designate themselves as "American" in order to distinguish themselves as not being an immigrant. Throughout the midwest and beyond, signs and placards will be found mostly on independently owned hotels and motels that read "American Owned". According to news reports from various cities that have covered these signs and the questions they raise stay at such properties because they associate the sign with cleanliness, patriotism and some have even said that the front desk clerks at "the other hotels" do not even speak English.
Some people are very ignorant. I remember once being in a restaurant where the seating was very tight, and an elderly white woman was trying to sit in the table behind me. She bumped into my chair several times and turned around to scold me "Can't you move over?!" I turned around and looked at her and it took me a second to respond because part of me was completely shocked that she would talk so rudely to me. Before I had a chance to respond, she screamed at me "Do you even speak English?" It took everything I had not to choke her. I told her that I scored a 94% in grammar on my Iowa Basic Tests so my guess is that I speak English fairly well.
Some people that we live around are simple minded and possess a lack of understanding of the world they live in. I would be an idiot to think that everyone on the world is Gujarati, however some races and ethnicities maintain this mindset that the only people in the world are those that are just like them.
That is precisely the mentality that has resulted in these signs posted on some hotels. What does that mean that they are American-owned? There are three hotel properties that are owned by members of my family and they are also American-owned. Within the franchise, the property has been recognized as the property with the most amenities of that chain within the midwest. Furthermore, awards have been earned nearly every year since they have been open on cleanliness and service. And I know for a fact that the front desk staff at these locations speak English. In fact, most of the front desk staff is bilingual. I worked the front desk at one of the properties for over a year. In my experience, we had many older guests that likely came to our property because it was one of the only ones in the area that had an indoor-heated swimming pool, or maybe it was the sauna or maybe the several jacuzzi rooms that we had available.
According to AAHOA, which many of us are familiar with, the Asian American Hotel Owners Association, over 37% of hotel properties in the United States are owned by Asians. Over 50% of motels (which by definition is a single building that provides guests direct access to the parking lot) are owned by Asians. Some people have a problem with that, and they are responding by posting these lame signs that say "American Owned". I don't know why all Asians who have independently-owned properties put up similar signs on their hotels?
Many of us are just as American as the guy sitting next to us and it would be a great way to dilute the original intentions of these signs. Put a big American flag up in front of your property while you are at it. What would they do next, put up signs that say "White People Owned"? It is all very disturbing to me. As one hotel owner said in a local newspaper, this sort of discrimination was supposed to have ended years ago. And here we are in 2007 trying to study the choices people make in their travel accommodations, and there is an indicator that reveals choice made based on the color of skin. Such signs should not be a factor. It is a low blow, but the good news is that we are all strong and such a desperate attempt to gain business will not hurt us in the end. We are smart and we will do something like what my uncle did. Build a killer indoor-heated swimming pool and then no one can compete with you unless they invest thousands of dollars to bring their property up to par with the competition. And when the scores of tourists come to stay at your property, make sure that they see the American flag in your lobby and the framed picture of your family with the mayor or governor or president, and that you convey that you are American and you are darn proud of it.
Some people are very ignorant. I remember once being in a restaurant where the seating was very tight, and an elderly white woman was trying to sit in the table behind me. She bumped into my chair several times and turned around to scold me "Can't you move over?!" I turned around and looked at her and it took me a second to respond because part of me was completely shocked that she would talk so rudely to me. Before I had a chance to respond, she screamed at me "Do you even speak English?" It took everything I had not to choke her. I told her that I scored a 94% in grammar on my Iowa Basic Tests so my guess is that I speak English fairly well.
Some people that we live around are simple minded and possess a lack of understanding of the world they live in. I would be an idiot to think that everyone on the world is Gujarati, however some races and ethnicities maintain this mindset that the only people in the world are those that are just like them.
That is precisely the mentality that has resulted in these signs posted on some hotels. What does that mean that they are American-owned? There are three hotel properties that are owned by members of my family and they are also American-owned. Within the franchise, the property has been recognized as the property with the most amenities of that chain within the midwest. Furthermore, awards have been earned nearly every year since they have been open on cleanliness and service. And I know for a fact that the front desk staff at these locations speak English. In fact, most of the front desk staff is bilingual. I worked the front desk at one of the properties for over a year. In my experience, we had many older guests that likely came to our property because it was one of the only ones in the area that had an indoor-heated swimming pool, or maybe it was the sauna or maybe the several jacuzzi rooms that we had available.
According to AAHOA, which many of us are familiar with, the Asian American Hotel Owners Association, over 37% of hotel properties in the United States are owned by Asians. Over 50% of motels (which by definition is a single building that provides guests direct access to the parking lot) are owned by Asians. Some people have a problem with that, and they are responding by posting these lame signs that say "American Owned". I don't know why all Asians who have independently-owned properties put up similar signs on their hotels?
Many of us are just as American as the guy sitting next to us and it would be a great way to dilute the original intentions of these signs. Put a big American flag up in front of your property while you are at it. What would they do next, put up signs that say "White People Owned"? It is all very disturbing to me. As one hotel owner said in a local newspaper, this sort of discrimination was supposed to have ended years ago. And here we are in 2007 trying to study the choices people make in their travel accommodations, and there is an indicator that reveals choice made based on the color of skin. Such signs should not be a factor. It is a low blow, but the good news is that we are all strong and such a desperate attempt to gain business will not hurt us in the end. We are smart and we will do something like what my uncle did. Build a killer indoor-heated swimming pool and then no one can compete with you unless they invest thousands of dollars to bring their property up to par with the competition. And when the scores of tourists come to stay at your property, make sure that they see the American flag in your lobby and the framed picture of your family with the mayor or governor or president, and that you convey that you are American and you are darn proud of it.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Bargaining Freedom
As an Indian growing up among many other Indians, I have witnesses many transactions and barters between members of my family, community and beyond. There is one undeniable observation that I have about us: we love bargains! The time I spend with one of my close Indian friends typically starts with bragging sessions of our most recent bargains. A Tommy Hilfiger purse that was found for $2 at Marshall's is an example of the great bargains we boast. At times, I may have a whole outfit with shoes and accessories that I scored for less than $10. My American friends think it is tacky to show off my shopping skills. My Indian friends compete in the shopping scavenger hunt.
However there is one thing that Indians have acquired for which no expense was spared. Our freedom came at a dear price for which lives, emotion and much passion was spent. Writers, critics and scholars often evaluate the price of freedom and serve reminders for the struggles and lives that were invested to allow our day to day lives. Our leaders often provide inspiration for other movements that result in freedoms of others in our world.
Dr. Martin Luther King studied Mahatma Gandhi and his non-violent tactics as he navigated African Americans to emancipation. Mahatma Gandhi offers inspiration to leaders and citizens around the world as a result of his efforts to bring India to liberty. Often cited are horrid stories originally related by our grandparents of the tragedies that occurred. Of the ones I recall, hands and fingers of cotton and silk weavers were cut off in order to control the textile market and promote European imports. Similarly treated were workers that impacted the production of spices and other products of value.
The freedom of India has an impact on our daily lives. Can we say that we would even be in the United States if it were not for India's freedom movement? Where would our lives be and how would we be living? We sometimes dismiss the traits of our previous generations and how that affects our lives today. I remember stories that my mother often told me about my grandparents, who like many Indians, I never met since they spent the latter parts of their lives on the other side of the world. I often think that many of my traits are likely shared with my grandparents and their grandparents. On a larger scale, if we look at some of the injustices our people faced several generations ago, we may see the impact that has on our lives today.
For example, prior to independence, the economic policies of the British rule stripped India of most of the gold, jewels, silver and silk to be shipped back to Britain as tax and sometimes sold in open auctions, ridding India of its once abundant wealth in precious stones. Is this why Indians are always trying to negotiate tax on large ticket items? How many times have we seen Indians who think because they are paying cash, they should not have to pay tax? Sometimes books are fidgeted and we really don't have any guilt about it and we certainly do not share the outlook that many Americans have that this is a means of stealing. We all benefit from social services that are paid for by taxes, such as public schools, fire departments and police departments. We utilize the services and we somehow feel like it is okay to not pay the taxes that pay for services that we use.
Another example is about three times a year, I buy a big bag of Basmati rice (or at least the bags says it is Basmati), and recently my pit-bull puppy fell sick and the doctor said to feed her some rice. I was searching the cupboards for regular rice because I was thinking I would go broke feeding my puppy Basmati rice, until a friend pointed out that based on my annual consumption of rice, I spend about $8 a month on rice. I folded and fed my puppy Basmati rice, but it got me thinking about why I think that Basmati rice is this super-expensive luxury that must be hoarded. At the same time, I spend $45 every month getting my nails done. This attitude is certainly inherited from my heritage. And while my attitude shapes my experience in the free economy of the United States of America, I must always remember that the price of that freedom was one that my people did not bargain at the checkout lane.
However there is one thing that Indians have acquired for which no expense was spared. Our freedom came at a dear price for which lives, emotion and much passion was spent. Writers, critics and scholars often evaluate the price of freedom and serve reminders for the struggles and lives that were invested to allow our day to day lives. Our leaders often provide inspiration for other movements that result in freedoms of others in our world.
Dr. Martin Luther King studied Mahatma Gandhi and his non-violent tactics as he navigated African Americans to emancipation. Mahatma Gandhi offers inspiration to leaders and citizens around the world as a result of his efforts to bring India to liberty. Often cited are horrid stories originally related by our grandparents of the tragedies that occurred. Of the ones I recall, hands and fingers of cotton and silk weavers were cut off in order to control the textile market and promote European imports. Similarly treated were workers that impacted the production of spices and other products of value.
The freedom of India has an impact on our daily lives. Can we say that we would even be in the United States if it were not for India's freedom movement? Where would our lives be and how would we be living? We sometimes dismiss the traits of our previous generations and how that affects our lives today. I remember stories that my mother often told me about my grandparents, who like many Indians, I never met since they spent the latter parts of their lives on the other side of the world. I often think that many of my traits are likely shared with my grandparents and their grandparents. On a larger scale, if we look at some of the injustices our people faced several generations ago, we may see the impact that has on our lives today.
For example, prior to independence, the economic policies of the British rule stripped India of most of the gold, jewels, silver and silk to be shipped back to Britain as tax and sometimes sold in open auctions, ridding India of its once abundant wealth in precious stones. Is this why Indians are always trying to negotiate tax on large ticket items? How many times have we seen Indians who think because they are paying cash, they should not have to pay tax? Sometimes books are fidgeted and we really don't have any guilt about it and we certainly do not share the outlook that many Americans have that this is a means of stealing. We all benefit from social services that are paid for by taxes, such as public schools, fire departments and police departments. We utilize the services and we somehow feel like it is okay to not pay the taxes that pay for services that we use.
Another example is about three times a year, I buy a big bag of Basmati rice (or at least the bags says it is Basmati), and recently my pit-bull puppy fell sick and the doctor said to feed her some rice. I was searching the cupboards for regular rice because I was thinking I would go broke feeding my puppy Basmati rice, until a friend pointed out that based on my annual consumption of rice, I spend about $8 a month on rice. I folded and fed my puppy Basmati rice, but it got me thinking about why I think that Basmati rice is this super-expensive luxury that must be hoarded. At the same time, I spend $45 every month getting my nails done. This attitude is certainly inherited from my heritage. And while my attitude shapes my experience in the free economy of the United States of America, I must always remember that the price of that freedom was one that my people did not bargain at the checkout lane.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Move Over Sanjaya, There Goes Kashif
I vaguely remember hearing commercials for the new television series created by the makers of American Idol where people from all over the nation can audition with any sort of talent. Though most of the acts on the show are satirical, there is a small minority of serious talent featured on the show. It was not until towards the end of the series when I was surfing online and I saw that one of our own was an aspiring Bollywood star that made it all the way to the semi-finals. Kashif Memon mesmerized judges Sharon Ozbourne, David Hasselhoff and some celebrity hater who I honestly had no idea who he was, but apparently he thought Kashif was a terrible dancer, at least by his standards. What does he know?
Kashif somewhat took the nation by storm too. Even Jerry Springer had some positive things to say about his performances. Though Kashif, of Skokie, Illinois, experienced a small version of the overnight fame that Sanjaya underwent, there were some undeniable differences between the two overnight successes. Since I read about Kashif at the point that he was off the show, I had to do some research on the Internet to find his dope Bollywood moves. I hate searching for stuff like that online, because I am bound to find something that angers me. Usually the comments are from people outside our culture. However this time, it appeared that it was our own people that aggravated me. A message board war between Hindus and Muslims seemed to erupt on some forums. It is sad that a few ignorant people from our culture could potentially impact the perception of Westerners trying to learn about our culture. Some of the comments I read were from user names that sounded Indian saying mean things about how Kashif sucked. And in response, there were comments about Paki-pride and how we are dumb Indians that are hating because we can’t dance like Kashif.
It becomes really sad when you talk to Americans that barely realize that India and Pakistan are two different countries. I currently live in a small farm-state city filled with people who barely leave the state, and it is hard enough getting some people to understand that India is a country on the other side of the world and that I do not belong to a tribe and despite the fact that I am 100% Indian, I am not eligible for a check from the government. Some American people get really confused, and have no overall clue of how the world is constructed.
I wish all of these Indian people would keep their negative comments to themselves. If they really do not like what they see, get out there and do it better and let your actions speak your mind. But putting hurtful comments out there about how Kashif talks (which is the exact same way many of our mothers and fathers and uncles and aunties talk) is just plain ignorant and makes you look totally stupid. Furthermore, your ignorance and stupidity makes me feel embarrassed for being Indian. In the clip that showed Kashif talking about what he wanted to do, he said “I want to do the dancing.” Many of us attacked him for using improper English. So what? I know about 25 other Indians that would have said the exact same thing.
It was very seldom that comments were posted on You Tube and other forums that reflected how well Kashif did, or how he had the courage to go out there and dance in a manner that was going to be foreign to the majority of the audience. I would like to say that I thought that Kashif did an awesome job. It was the coolest thing seeing this 4-minute Bollywood rendition on national television performed by someone who was practically my next door neighbor. Thank you Kashif, for having the courage to go out there and tell America about your dream and exposing the mass media to a piece of our culture. I hope that we do see you in Bollywood films someday. Don’t take any of the negative comments personally, and don’t think that the comments on the Internet reflect what all Indians think about you. You have a lot of supporters out there, so as they say, haters, keep hating, and players, play on!
Kashif somewhat took the nation by storm too. Even Jerry Springer had some positive things to say about his performances. Though Kashif, of Skokie, Illinois, experienced a small version of the overnight fame that Sanjaya underwent, there were some undeniable differences between the two overnight successes. Since I read about Kashif at the point that he was off the show, I had to do some research on the Internet to find his dope Bollywood moves. I hate searching for stuff like that online, because I am bound to find something that angers me. Usually the comments are from people outside our culture. However this time, it appeared that it was our own people that aggravated me. A message board war between Hindus and Muslims seemed to erupt on some forums. It is sad that a few ignorant people from our culture could potentially impact the perception of Westerners trying to learn about our culture. Some of the comments I read were from user names that sounded Indian saying mean things about how Kashif sucked. And in response, there were comments about Paki-pride and how we are dumb Indians that are hating because we can’t dance like Kashif.
It becomes really sad when you talk to Americans that barely realize that India and Pakistan are two different countries. I currently live in a small farm-state city filled with people who barely leave the state, and it is hard enough getting some people to understand that India is a country on the other side of the world and that I do not belong to a tribe and despite the fact that I am 100% Indian, I am not eligible for a check from the government. Some American people get really confused, and have no overall clue of how the world is constructed.
I wish all of these Indian people would keep their negative comments to themselves. If they really do not like what they see, get out there and do it better and let your actions speak your mind. But putting hurtful comments out there about how Kashif talks (which is the exact same way many of our mothers and fathers and uncles and aunties talk) is just plain ignorant and makes you look totally stupid. Furthermore, your ignorance and stupidity makes me feel embarrassed for being Indian. In the clip that showed Kashif talking about what he wanted to do, he said “I want to do the dancing.” Many of us attacked him for using improper English. So what? I know about 25 other Indians that would have said the exact same thing.
It was very seldom that comments were posted on You Tube and other forums that reflected how well Kashif did, or how he had the courage to go out there and dance in a manner that was going to be foreign to the majority of the audience. I would like to say that I thought that Kashif did an awesome job. It was the coolest thing seeing this 4-minute Bollywood rendition on national television performed by someone who was practically my next door neighbor. Thank you Kashif, for having the courage to go out there and tell America about your dream and exposing the mass media to a piece of our culture. I hope that we do see you in Bollywood films someday. Don’t take any of the negative comments personally, and don’t think that the comments on the Internet reflect what all Indians think about you. You have a lot of supporters out there, so as they say, haters, keep hating, and players, play on!
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Thanks, But No Thanks
Several years ago, as I embarked upon an endeavor to expand my Gujarati vocabulary, I would often translate overheard sentences in my head from English to Gujarati. It was a great way to identify words that I did not know. Subsequently, I would ask one of my parents, or a friend how to say the word. One day, I realized that I do not know how to say "thank you" in Gujarati. I proceeded to ask one of my close friends and off the top of her head, she could not recall. "Everyone just says it in English," she told me. I went through a couple people until one of my elders introduced me to the word "aabhar." From what I was told, the usage of this word is somewhat archaic and could potentially get you some weird looks from people that you say it to. I used it anyway. And I did get the weird looks.
Being in Madison, Wisconsin, I am lucky to be in one of two cities in the United States that offer college level credit courses in Gujarati. It has been my goal to enroll in a year's worth of credits before I leave Madison. The class is offered in a concentrated 6-week period where you go to class everyday for something like five or six hours. It seems like a great opportunity to learn the language. I have been recruiting friends and family to come down to Madison for six weeks and take the class with me. So far I have one friend who is a dedicated participant in this project of mine (no one really wants to come out to Madison to stay for six weeks when the same class is offered in such an exciting city like Philadelphia).
My friend and I will often exchange phrases in Gujarati and he once asked me how to say "thank you" in Gujarati. I explained to him the background of the word and he just laughed. "No wonder your people are so rude, you have entirely eliminated the usage of the word from your language!" His prospective is a little skewed from a job he held in college when he had to interact with a lot of Indians who were constantly trying to barter for discounts, or worse, change tags and insist certain items were on sale knowing that they weren't. Through this experience, his prospective of Indian people are that they are rude and never say "thank you" when you give in to their aggressive tactics to save a few dollars. I can't really defend us there, because I was one time among those Indians who put regularly priced items on the clearance rack and insisted that it should be 50% off. So tacky, I know.
I kind of snickered back as he was right. I can't deny being rude, and very often using the phrase "thank you" in appropriately. If you borrow my car and crash it, my response might be something like "Thanks a lot, this is just great" and than after a couple minutes, I might ask if you are okay. When my supervisor at work gives me a big project to do when I am already overworked, my response is usually "thank you" and in my head I will be cussing him out. I think that my use of the word is a little skewed because my first language did not really use it. Perhaps many Indian people are like that.
I think of words that were eliminated from the English language. Some words are replaced, such as "thou shalt not" ends up being modernized with other words that are more commonly used. But if you look at words that are just not used anymore, one of the many reasons is because the term was derogatory or offensive with the change of times, or that the term is no longer needed. I really can't understand the motive or rationale behind eliminating "thank you." To me, "thank you" seems like it should be an important phrase that is needed in the language. To only use the term in English, is it not also saying that Gujarati's need English in order to survive or be functional? Why did "aabhar" become outdated?
Recently at a friend's gathering, I was served some juice and I said "aabhar." I think more of us need to say it in Gujarati and maybe out word will be resurrected through common usage. She did look at me funny and said it's okay, I can say it in English. Thanks, but no thanks.
Being in Madison, Wisconsin, I am lucky to be in one of two cities in the United States that offer college level credit courses in Gujarati. It has been my goal to enroll in a year's worth of credits before I leave Madison. The class is offered in a concentrated 6-week period where you go to class everyday for something like five or six hours. It seems like a great opportunity to learn the language. I have been recruiting friends and family to come down to Madison for six weeks and take the class with me. So far I have one friend who is a dedicated participant in this project of mine (no one really wants to come out to Madison to stay for six weeks when the same class is offered in such an exciting city like Philadelphia).
My friend and I will often exchange phrases in Gujarati and he once asked me how to say "thank you" in Gujarati. I explained to him the background of the word and he just laughed. "No wonder your people are so rude, you have entirely eliminated the usage of the word from your language!" His prospective is a little skewed from a job he held in college when he had to interact with a lot of Indians who were constantly trying to barter for discounts, or worse, change tags and insist certain items were on sale knowing that they weren't. Through this experience, his prospective of Indian people are that they are rude and never say "thank you" when you give in to their aggressive tactics to save a few dollars. I can't really defend us there, because I was one time among those Indians who put regularly priced items on the clearance rack and insisted that it should be 50% off. So tacky, I know.
I kind of snickered back as he was right. I can't deny being rude, and very often using the phrase "thank you" in appropriately. If you borrow my car and crash it, my response might be something like "Thanks a lot, this is just great" and than after a couple minutes, I might ask if you are okay. When my supervisor at work gives me a big project to do when I am already overworked, my response is usually "thank you" and in my head I will be cussing him out. I think that my use of the word is a little skewed because my first language did not really use it. Perhaps many Indian people are like that.
I think of words that were eliminated from the English language. Some words are replaced, such as "thou shalt not" ends up being modernized with other words that are more commonly used. But if you look at words that are just not used anymore, one of the many reasons is because the term was derogatory or offensive with the change of times, or that the term is no longer needed. I really can't understand the motive or rationale behind eliminating "thank you." To me, "thank you" seems like it should be an important phrase that is needed in the language. To only use the term in English, is it not also saying that Gujarati's need English in order to survive or be functional? Why did "aabhar" become outdated?
Recently at a friend's gathering, I was served some juice and I said "aabhar." I think more of us need to say it in Gujarati and maybe out word will be resurrected through common usage. She did look at me funny and said it's okay, I can say it in English. Thanks, but no thanks.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
7-Elevens Hostile Takeover By Simpsons
In the day and age of mergers and acquisitions, it is no wonder that Apu Nahasapeemapetilon from the Simpsons has made headlines with the recent marketing tactic employed by 7-Eleven stores to convert several locations into The Simpson's caricature of convenience stores called "Kwik-E-Mart." There are mixed feelings on this ploy, as some race relation leaders claim that this tactic is racist and makes a mockery of the entire Indian experience. Already Indian convenience store owners battle with stereotypes and this sort of campaign forces Indian convenience store owners to play into those very stereotypes that often pose as barriers to us.
Some Indians are offended at the fact these marketing tactics associate Indians with improper English, working 90-hour shifts, cheating customers and overall mockeries of our traditions. Such associations downplay our positive contributions to medicine, science and technology. Furthermore, it is reinforced that our people all work in convenience stores. We don't just work in convenience stores, we own them! The fact that we are business-masterminds is also overlooked for a few jokes that affect the minds of Americans and what their perceptions of being Indian is all about.
I wrote about the Simpsons several years ago and asked the India Tribune audience about their take on Apu. Overwhelmingly, our community seems to love Apu. I did not really find that as a surprise, because I love Apu. I have an Apu t-shirt and I have Apu wallpaper on one of my computers. My white friends all love Apu as well, and never have any of my friends had an expectation that my father was anything like Apu.
It is a little hard to get mad at the Simpsons when everyone that is depicted on their cartoon is a big moron. Look at Homer Simpson! I was on a forum where one Internet user commented that we all have to calm down. White people don't get mad at how white people are portrayed on the Simpsons. So why should we?
If the Indian community were to lobby and ask all of us to boycott Apu and the Simpsons, I would have a hard time. I watch The Simpsons, and Apu always makes me laugh. I watch the creators of this show desecrate our traditions. Should I feel guilty for laughing at Homer running around in a Ganesh costume? It is bad, but doesn't American media make everyone fair game for satire? There is The Boondocks, Mr. Wong, and look at all the groups that South Park has attacked. Is there anyone who has ever been safe from a South Park portrayal?
So some people say that we should chill out, however when I see pictures and footage of Indian 7-Eleven employees wearing Kwik-E-Mart shirts standing next to products that are designed to parody the lack of upkeep in Desi-owned convenience stores, it hurts a little bit. Some Desi convenience store owners commented on Google groups with comments such as "I am not bashing The Simpsons, but I am criticizing our company's involvement in this promotion knowing very well that the vast majority of [franchisees] are immigrants. I am not proud to be part of this promotion."
Also commentary found on Google Groups show white people defending the marketing tactic, claiming it to be harmless. Is it really up to white people to say that the tactic is harmless? That is like an abusive husband claiming his strikes to be harmless. As a community, we should be unified in our position.
It is easy to sit in our living room and find a dumb cartoon amusing, but when you walk into a store that personifies racism, and you see our uncles dressed in t-shirts that represent stereotypes, it crosses the fine line between fantasy and reality. When do bars transition into Moe's and feature fat white guys drinking beer and eating donuts? Maybe then the 7-Eleven transition will sit right with me. When I used to look at my Apu-bobblehead, I would see a cartoon, but now I see faces of real Indian people. And that hurts.
Cartoons are not supposed to be a reality, and what was amusing satire is now a real live experience. I have not yet visited a Kwik-E-Mart, however I hope to God that there is no Ganesh next to the cash register with a sign that says "Please do not offer my God a peanut." That would definitely be crossing the line.
Some Indians are offended at the fact these marketing tactics associate Indians with improper English, working 90-hour shifts, cheating customers and overall mockeries of our traditions. Such associations downplay our positive contributions to medicine, science and technology. Furthermore, it is reinforced that our people all work in convenience stores. We don't just work in convenience stores, we own them! The fact that we are business-masterminds is also overlooked for a few jokes that affect the minds of Americans and what their perceptions of being Indian is all about.
I wrote about the Simpsons several years ago and asked the India Tribune audience about their take on Apu. Overwhelmingly, our community seems to love Apu. I did not really find that as a surprise, because I love Apu. I have an Apu t-shirt and I have Apu wallpaper on one of my computers. My white friends all love Apu as well, and never have any of my friends had an expectation that my father was anything like Apu.
It is a little hard to get mad at the Simpsons when everyone that is depicted on their cartoon is a big moron. Look at Homer Simpson! I was on a forum where one Internet user commented that we all have to calm down. White people don't get mad at how white people are portrayed on the Simpsons. So why should we?
If the Indian community were to lobby and ask all of us to boycott Apu and the Simpsons, I would have a hard time. I watch The Simpsons, and Apu always makes me laugh. I watch the creators of this show desecrate our traditions. Should I feel guilty for laughing at Homer running around in a Ganesh costume? It is bad, but doesn't American media make everyone fair game for satire? There is The Boondocks, Mr. Wong, and look at all the groups that South Park has attacked. Is there anyone who has ever been safe from a South Park portrayal?
So some people say that we should chill out, however when I see pictures and footage of Indian 7-Eleven employees wearing Kwik-E-Mart shirts standing next to products that are designed to parody the lack of upkeep in Desi-owned convenience stores, it hurts a little bit. Some Desi convenience store owners commented on Google groups with comments such as "I am not bashing The Simpsons, but I am criticizing our company's involvement in this promotion knowing very well that the vast majority of [franchisees] are immigrants. I am not proud to be part of this promotion."
Also commentary found on Google Groups show white people defending the marketing tactic, claiming it to be harmless. Is it really up to white people to say that the tactic is harmless? That is like an abusive husband claiming his strikes to be harmless. As a community, we should be unified in our position.
It is easy to sit in our living room and find a dumb cartoon amusing, but when you walk into a store that personifies racism, and you see our uncles dressed in t-shirts that represent stereotypes, it crosses the fine line between fantasy and reality. When do bars transition into Moe's and feature fat white guys drinking beer and eating donuts? Maybe then the 7-Eleven transition will sit right with me. When I used to look at my Apu-bobblehead, I would see a cartoon, but now I see faces of real Indian people. And that hurts.
Cartoons are not supposed to be a reality, and what was amusing satire is now a real live experience. I have not yet visited a Kwik-E-Mart, however I hope to God that there is no Ganesh next to the cash register with a sign that says "Please do not offer my God a peanut." That would definitely be crossing the line.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
The Meaning Of Happiness
I recently met an Indian woman who confided in me some of the challenges that she faced socially with being a gay Indian woman in an interracial relationship with another woman. As an outside observer, it seemed to me that this woman was unhappy with pretty much every area of her life. Her parents were making her unhappy, she was unhappy with her job, with the progress she was making in her education, she seemed to have low self-esteem and she just had an overall sense of depression that lured around her.
Around the same weekend, I met another East Asian girl who was very happy and seemed to be very self-assured. She was satisfied in her relationship and she seemed to be pleased with her life overall. She has a great job that she loved, she has a dedicated husband and she seems to exuberate joy to all those around her. This woman was not Indian.
It made me think back to all my Indian friends. Those who I have known who are gay, straight, in arranged marriages, in love relationships, single, divorced, successful, not-so-successful. Of all the Indian people that I know, I had to really think of who I knew that was happy. Nearly every Indian person I know is unhappy about something in their life.
I then thought about myself. I could be further along professionally. I could be further along educationally. I could have more money. I could have a bigger house. I could have a family. I could have a better relationship with my parents. I could have a stronger relationship with the rest of my family. I could pursue my dreams with more fervor. There are a lot of things that I could be doing that would contribute to my overall happiness. But I don't. Why?
One of my aunties who has known my family for a long time recently told me that is life. However I look at my neighbors who are not of Indian culture and I do not sense that same aspect of life.
My thoughts led to Bollywood movies and the heroines that are often portrayed in our movies. They are always struggling with something that affects their overall happiness. Is there an inherent aspect of our culture that commands us to be unhappy? Very often, Bollywood stories end with some sort of happy ending, but if we explore the life of characters after the story comes to a close, do the challenges that affect their decisions impede their happiness? I wonder.
Sure the gay Indian woman is happy when she is with her partner in her home living her life. But as soon as parents come into the picture, the equilibrium of her environment is affected. A conversation I had with a friend recently concluded that everyone is unhappy at some point in time. But that East Asian girl was not unhappy. She had made a conscious decision to not allow herself to be unhappy, especially over things that she can not affect.
Within this philosophy, the gay Indian woman needs to refuse her parents, her employer, her instructors and everyone else who is causing her alarm to affect her happiness. But as Indians, is this even possible? We are made to please others and we are conditioned to respond to life situations after considering the feelings of everyone around us. Our entire being relies on the strength of our community, as opposed to the strength of us as individuals. We expect our people to do the things that we do, and not deter away from the norm of what defines Indian culture, even if it means we must put the happiness of others before our own. It leads to the question of what is happiness? From our prospective, I am interested to know, what does it mean to be happy?
One of my elders once told me that if our parents are happy, then we will be happy. Is that really true? If that were the case in America, would the civil rights movement have ever occurred? Would there have ever been any sort of women's liberation? I speak to many of my peers and they often confide that they are unhappy, but there is nothing that they can do because of the cards that life dealt them. Is that really true? Perhaps it is, but I am wondering what the consequence would be of following your gut and instinct. Would that result in mayhem? Or would that result in some level of happiness?
Around the same weekend, I met another East Asian girl who was very happy and seemed to be very self-assured. She was satisfied in her relationship and she seemed to be pleased with her life overall. She has a great job that she loved, she has a dedicated husband and she seems to exuberate joy to all those around her. This woman was not Indian.
It made me think back to all my Indian friends. Those who I have known who are gay, straight, in arranged marriages, in love relationships, single, divorced, successful, not-so-successful. Of all the Indian people that I know, I had to really think of who I knew that was happy. Nearly every Indian person I know is unhappy about something in their life.
I then thought about myself. I could be further along professionally. I could be further along educationally. I could have more money. I could have a bigger house. I could have a family. I could have a better relationship with my parents. I could have a stronger relationship with the rest of my family. I could pursue my dreams with more fervor. There are a lot of things that I could be doing that would contribute to my overall happiness. But I don't. Why?
One of my aunties who has known my family for a long time recently told me that is life. However I look at my neighbors who are not of Indian culture and I do not sense that same aspect of life.
My thoughts led to Bollywood movies and the heroines that are often portrayed in our movies. They are always struggling with something that affects their overall happiness. Is there an inherent aspect of our culture that commands us to be unhappy? Very often, Bollywood stories end with some sort of happy ending, but if we explore the life of characters after the story comes to a close, do the challenges that affect their decisions impede their happiness? I wonder.
Sure the gay Indian woman is happy when she is with her partner in her home living her life. But as soon as parents come into the picture, the equilibrium of her environment is affected. A conversation I had with a friend recently concluded that everyone is unhappy at some point in time. But that East Asian girl was not unhappy. She had made a conscious decision to not allow herself to be unhappy, especially over things that she can not affect.
Within this philosophy, the gay Indian woman needs to refuse her parents, her employer, her instructors and everyone else who is causing her alarm to affect her happiness. But as Indians, is this even possible? We are made to please others and we are conditioned to respond to life situations after considering the feelings of everyone around us. Our entire being relies on the strength of our community, as opposed to the strength of us as individuals. We expect our people to do the things that we do, and not deter away from the norm of what defines Indian culture, even if it means we must put the happiness of others before our own. It leads to the question of what is happiness? From our prospective, I am interested to know, what does it mean to be happy?
One of my elders once told me that if our parents are happy, then we will be happy. Is that really true? If that were the case in America, would the civil rights movement have ever occurred? Would there have ever been any sort of women's liberation? I speak to many of my peers and they often confide that they are unhappy, but there is nothing that they can do because of the cards that life dealt them. Is that really true? Perhaps it is, but I am wondering what the consequence would be of following your gut and instinct. Would that result in mayhem? Or would that result in some level of happiness?
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Happy Birthday America!
Immigration has been a hot topic of debate ever since 9-11 with numerous passionate arguments representing both sides. Most commentary in Indian publications are pro-immigration, and rightly so. Many of us second and third generation Indians would not even be here if it were not for immigration, the factor that brought many of our parents together.
A recent motivational conference that my employer assigned all of our staff to attend hosted a workshop on leadership led by none-other-than General Colin Powell. As the former Secretary of State, General Powell addressed immigration by stating how necessary immigration is on a global scale. From his account, he indicated that immigration sparks tourism dollars and the more the rest of the world visits the United States, the better their understanding of our culture. Their overall understanding of what the United States is all about has an impact on the existence of terrorism in a roundabout way. Additionally, in terms of foreign exchange students, the diversity of our leaders is dependent on immigration. Those who come here on student visas develop skills to contribute development here in the United States or back home, and that has an overall effect globally.
It was interesting for me to hear General Powell's analysis of the economic impacts of immigration and of all the countries in the world, he cited India as an example. And it makes sense. Didn't we basically build the Internet and all of what comprises information technology today? General Powell said that 1.3 billion Indians are engaged in a strategic partnership with the United States. His various examples were intended to help his audience understand that many of the arguments against immigration based on security concerns fail to consider that overall, countries are more concerned with economic matters than peace and war issues. Countries are negotiating shelf space allocations at Walmart and how many locations McDonalds can have and where the next Coca Cola plant will be. In many regards, General Powell is right. We allow the focus on immigration to attach itself to security concerns to determine who we are allowing in and whether that immigrant is going to blow up a train somewhere. We often completely neglect the economic factors of immigration outside of whether any Americans want to take the jobs that the illegal Mexicans currently hold.
In looking at college-educated residents as an asset, there is even an official term for the emigration of educated residents: brain-drain (I know, that sounds silly, I did not make that term up). By definition, brain-drain occurs either when individuals who study abroad do not return to their home country, or when individuals educated in their home country emigrate for higher wages and better opportunities. When I first learned about brain-drain, I thought about India. Often times it is pointed out that all the Indian immigrants that arrived here in 1970's wave were of an educated class. However, according to the statistics, India does not really suffer from brain-drain because less than 5% of Indian college-educated residents leave India. This is a contrast to countries like Ethiopia, where 75% of their skilled workforce is said to have abandoned ship in the 1980's, leaving behind poverty of epidemic proportions and little hope to recover without outside intervention.
An address by a legendary soldier and statesman is enough to make anyone proud to be an American. I suppose for many years, his job was dependent on his ability to make people feel good about America. However in listening to General Powell, I not only felt good about being American, but I also felt good about being Indian. Here we have a country that has made such an impact on the global economy, both in our homeland and abroad. Our respect for our homeland contributes to the low levels of "brain-drain" and though poverty exists, the retained 95% of our college educated residents develop initiatives back home. With minimal exports of our assets, we contribute enough talent to shape technology in the United States. We build, we lead, we research and we develop. Indians win fellowships. Indians comprise a substantial segment of staff at technology companies nationwide. And Indians assume titles such as CEO, CFO, VP of this and VP of that. General Powell concluded by saying "Organization doesn't really accomplish anything. Plans don't accomplish anything, either. Theories of management don't much matter. Endeavors succeed or fail because of the people involved. Only by attracting the best people will you accomplish great deeds." The United States has accomplished some great deeds and our people were involved because we are the best. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise: we are the best!
A recent motivational conference that my employer assigned all of our staff to attend hosted a workshop on leadership led by none-other-than General Colin Powell. As the former Secretary of State, General Powell addressed immigration by stating how necessary immigration is on a global scale. From his account, he indicated that immigration sparks tourism dollars and the more the rest of the world visits the United States, the better their understanding of our culture. Their overall understanding of what the United States is all about has an impact on the existence of terrorism in a roundabout way. Additionally, in terms of foreign exchange students, the diversity of our leaders is dependent on immigration. Those who come here on student visas develop skills to contribute development here in the United States or back home, and that has an overall effect globally.
It was interesting for me to hear General Powell's analysis of the economic impacts of immigration and of all the countries in the world, he cited India as an example. And it makes sense. Didn't we basically build the Internet and all of what comprises information technology today? General Powell said that 1.3 billion Indians are engaged in a strategic partnership with the United States. His various examples were intended to help his audience understand that many of the arguments against immigration based on security concerns fail to consider that overall, countries are more concerned with economic matters than peace and war issues. Countries are negotiating shelf space allocations at Walmart and how many locations McDonalds can have and where the next Coca Cola plant will be. In many regards, General Powell is right. We allow the focus on immigration to attach itself to security concerns to determine who we are allowing in and whether that immigrant is going to blow up a train somewhere. We often completely neglect the economic factors of immigration outside of whether any Americans want to take the jobs that the illegal Mexicans currently hold.
In looking at college-educated residents as an asset, there is even an official term for the emigration of educated residents: brain-drain (I know, that sounds silly, I did not make that term up). By definition, brain-drain occurs either when individuals who study abroad do not return to their home country, or when individuals educated in their home country emigrate for higher wages and better opportunities. When I first learned about brain-drain, I thought about India. Often times it is pointed out that all the Indian immigrants that arrived here in 1970's wave were of an educated class. However, according to the statistics, India does not really suffer from brain-drain because less than 5% of Indian college-educated residents leave India. This is a contrast to countries like Ethiopia, where 75% of their skilled workforce is said to have abandoned ship in the 1980's, leaving behind poverty of epidemic proportions and little hope to recover without outside intervention.
An address by a legendary soldier and statesman is enough to make anyone proud to be an American. I suppose for many years, his job was dependent on his ability to make people feel good about America. However in listening to General Powell, I not only felt good about being American, but I also felt good about being Indian. Here we have a country that has made such an impact on the global economy, both in our homeland and abroad. Our respect for our homeland contributes to the low levels of "brain-drain" and though poverty exists, the retained 95% of our college educated residents develop initiatives back home. With minimal exports of our assets, we contribute enough talent to shape technology in the United States. We build, we lead, we research and we develop. Indians win fellowships. Indians comprise a substantial segment of staff at technology companies nationwide. And Indians assume titles such as CEO, CFO, VP of this and VP of that. General Powell concluded by saying "Organization doesn't really accomplish anything. Plans don't accomplish anything, either. Theories of management don't much matter. Endeavors succeed or fail because of the people involved. Only by attracting the best people will you accomplish great deeds." The United States has accomplished some great deeds and our people were involved because we are the best. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise: we are the best!
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Attract the Best People, Accomplish Great Deeds
Immigration has been a hot topic of debate ever since 9-11 with numerous passionate arguments representing both sides. Most commentary in Indian publications are pro-immigration, and rightly so. Many of us second and third generation Indians would not even be here if it were not for immigration, the factor that brought many of our parents together.
A recent motivational conference that my employer assigned all of our staff to attend hosted a workshop on leadership led by none-other-than General Colin Powell. As the former Secretary of State, General Powell addressed immigration by stating how necessary immigration is on a global scale. From his account, he indicated that immigration sparks tourism dollars and the more the rest of the world visits the United States, the better their understanding of our culture. Their overall understanding of what the United States is all about has an impact on the existence of terrorism in a roundabout way. Additionally, in terms of foreign exchange students, the diversity of our leaders is dependent on immigration. Those who come here on student visas develop skills to contribute development here in the United States or back home, and that has an overall effect globally.
It was interesting for me to hear General Powell's analysis of the economic impacts of immigration and of all the countries in the world, he cited India as an example. And it makes sense. Didn't we basically build the Internet and all of what comprises information technology today? General Powell said that 1.3 billion Indians are engaged in a strategic partnership with the United States. His various examples were intended to help his audience understand that many of the arguments against immigration based on security concerns fail to consider that overall, countries are more concerned with economic matters than peace and war issues. Countries are negotiating shelf space allocations at Walmart and how many locations McDonalds can have and where the next Coca Cola plant will be. In many regards, General Powell is right. We allow the focus on immigration to attach itself to security concerns to determine who we are allowing in and whether that immigrant is going to blow up a train somewhere. We often completely neglect the economic factors of immigration outside of whether any Americans want to take the jobs that the illegal Mexicans currently hold.
In looking at college-educated residents as an asset, there is even an official term for the emigration of educated residents: brain-drain (I know, that sounds silly, I did not make that term up). By definition, brain-drain occurs either when individuals who study abroad do not return to their home country, or when individuals educated in their home country emigrate for higher wages and better opportunities. When I first learned about brain-drain, I thought about India. Often times it is pointed out that all the Indian immigrants that arrived here in 1970's wave were of an educated class. However, according to the statistics, India does not really suffer from brain-drain because less than 5% of Indian college-educated residents leave India. This is a contrast to countries like Ethiopia, where 75% of their skilled workforce is said to have abandoned ship in the 1980's, leaving behind poverty of epidemic proportions and little hope to recover without outside intervention.
An address by a legendary soldier and statesman is enough to make anyone proud to be an American. I suppose for many years, his job was dependent on his ability to make people feel good about America. However in listening to General Powell, I not only felt good about being American, but I also felt good about being Indian. Here we have a country that has made such an impact on the global economy, both in our homeland and abroad. Our respect for our homeland contributes to the low levels of "brain-drain" and though poverty exists, the retained 95% of our college educated residents develop initiatives back home. With minimal exports of our assets, we contribute enough talent to shape technology in the United States. We build, we lead, we research and we develop. Indians win fellowships. Indians comprise a substantial segment of staff at technology companies nationwide. And Indians assume titles such as CEO, CFO, VP of this and VP of that. General Powell concluded by saying "Organization doesn't really accomplish anything. Plans don't accomplish anything, either. Theories of management don't much matter. Endeavors succeed or fail because of the people involved. Only by attracting the best people will you accomplish great deeds." The United States has accomplished some great deeds and our people were involved because we are the best. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise: we are the best!
A recent motivational conference that my employer assigned all of our staff to attend hosted a workshop on leadership led by none-other-than General Colin Powell. As the former Secretary of State, General Powell addressed immigration by stating how necessary immigration is on a global scale. From his account, he indicated that immigration sparks tourism dollars and the more the rest of the world visits the United States, the better their understanding of our culture. Their overall understanding of what the United States is all about has an impact on the existence of terrorism in a roundabout way. Additionally, in terms of foreign exchange students, the diversity of our leaders is dependent on immigration. Those who come here on student visas develop skills to contribute development here in the United States or back home, and that has an overall effect globally.
It was interesting for me to hear General Powell's analysis of the economic impacts of immigration and of all the countries in the world, he cited India as an example. And it makes sense. Didn't we basically build the Internet and all of what comprises information technology today? General Powell said that 1.3 billion Indians are engaged in a strategic partnership with the United States. His various examples were intended to help his audience understand that many of the arguments against immigration based on security concerns fail to consider that overall, countries are more concerned with economic matters than peace and war issues. Countries are negotiating shelf space allocations at Walmart and how many locations McDonalds can have and where the next Coca Cola plant will be. In many regards, General Powell is right. We allow the focus on immigration to attach itself to security concerns to determine who we are allowing in and whether that immigrant is going to blow up a train somewhere. We often completely neglect the economic factors of immigration outside of whether any Americans want to take the jobs that the illegal Mexicans currently hold.
In looking at college-educated residents as an asset, there is even an official term for the emigration of educated residents: brain-drain (I know, that sounds silly, I did not make that term up). By definition, brain-drain occurs either when individuals who study abroad do not return to their home country, or when individuals educated in their home country emigrate for higher wages and better opportunities. When I first learned about brain-drain, I thought about India. Often times it is pointed out that all the Indian immigrants that arrived here in 1970's wave were of an educated class. However, according to the statistics, India does not really suffer from brain-drain because less than 5% of Indian college-educated residents leave India. This is a contrast to countries like Ethiopia, where 75% of their skilled workforce is said to have abandoned ship in the 1980's, leaving behind poverty of epidemic proportions and little hope to recover without outside intervention.
An address by a legendary soldier and statesman is enough to make anyone proud to be an American. I suppose for many years, his job was dependent on his ability to make people feel good about America. However in listening to General Powell, I not only felt good about being American, but I also felt good about being Indian. Here we have a country that has made such an impact on the global economy, both in our homeland and abroad. Our respect for our homeland contributes to the low levels of "brain-drain" and though poverty exists, the retained 95% of our college educated residents develop initiatives back home. With minimal exports of our assets, we contribute enough talent to shape technology in the United States. We build, we lead, we research and we develop. Indians win fellowships. Indians comprise a substantial segment of staff at technology companies nationwide. And Indians assume titles such as CEO, CFO, VP of this and VP of that. General Powell concluded by saying "Organization doesn't really accomplish anything. Plans don't accomplish anything, either. Theories of management don't much matter. Endeavors succeed or fail because of the people involved. Only by attracting the best people will you accomplish great deeds." The United States has accomplished some great deeds and our people were involved because we are the best. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise: we are the best!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
The Bill Cosby Syndrome
The entire staff at my work went to a motivational retreat in Milwaukee where various celebrities talked about success and perseverance. One of the esteemed speakers was none other than Mr. Bill Cosby. Mr. Cosby related many of his experiences navigating through the comic circuit during times when integration and the civil rights movement were distant dreams for the future. His message followed a story about a break he received in his live comic years where he completely bombed. Mr. Cosby's account detailed a show where he performed for an affluent, predominantly-white audience that gave him so much anxiety. They made him feel that because this audience had likely seen the best comics of the time, they would immediately know that he is not really funny.
Mr. Cosby's guidance was very parallel to what my parents always advise me, despite his life experiences seemingly being poles apart from my parents. His primary message was to prevent yourself from talking yourself out of the best of who you are.
What struck me as a parallel between Mr. Cosby and our Indian community is with some of our elders who disapprove of the younger generation and the direction they are guiding our community. Similarly, Mr. Cosby disapproves of the direction the younger generation is taking his community. He often publicly voices his disapproval of hip-hop culture and the lifestyles of the younger generation. His comments prompted several guardians of the younger generation to voice their defense and the New York Times referred to the battle as "generational warfare."
One of the arguments is that the younger generation is a product of the older one and it is hypocritical for the older generation to criticize the younger generation without taking a look at themselves first. Mr. Cosby accuses today's youth of neglecting their history and overlooking the gains paid for by the blood of their ancestors. The flipside to this accusation refers to Mr. Cosby's younger years and the lessons he preached. Ironically, many popular hip-hop artists cite Mr. Bill Cosby as their inspiration.
When our elders complain about our generation drinking or having sex or dating outside our culture, we are also accused of ignoring our roots, forgetting where we came from and disregarding the sacrifices that our parents made to ensure opportunities for us. I sometimes wonder, were all of our grandparents wholeheartedly supportive of our parents picking up and moving to the other side of the world? Though many of our parents make it sound like it was such an easy decision and everyone in the family was wholly supportive of the global transition, I somewhat suspect that there must have been some grandparents that would have preferred their children to stay close to home. Did any of our parents defy their parents' wishes and leave the country anyway? I personally know of a handful that did.
Maybe that is where some of our strong will and determination comes from. The elders in my family often tell me that I am hard-headed and that I will do what I want to do despite what anyone tells me (including my parents). When I sit back and think about it, gee, where did I get that from? My mother is the most hard-headed and self-determined woman that I know. There is no one in the world that could tell my mother what to do (or what not to do). If she sets her mind on doing something, she is going to do it. I have a very hard time envisioning anyone, even her elders, standing in her way. Perhaps that is part of the drive and determination that got us to today, and that is what will take us to tomorrow.
Mr. Bill Cosby has been cited in several interviews accusing the younger generation of failing the civil rights movement by not holding up their end of the deal. His comments are often harsh, quoted once as saying to the younger generation, "Even God is tired of you."
Our elders have sharp tongues too. Mr. Bill Cosby really could get some pointers from our elders. Regardless, another speaker from the event guided the responsibility to the youth. He said, "We started it, you finish it." The torch must get passed on to every succeeding generation. That is a timeless truth. And perhaps to add to Mr. Cosby's words of advice, "Don't allow yourself to talk yourself out of being the best of who you are." Not even your elders.
Mr. Cosby's guidance was very parallel to what my parents always advise me, despite his life experiences seemingly being poles apart from my parents. His primary message was to prevent yourself from talking yourself out of the best of who you are.
What struck me as a parallel between Mr. Cosby and our Indian community is with some of our elders who disapprove of the younger generation and the direction they are guiding our community. Similarly, Mr. Cosby disapproves of the direction the younger generation is taking his community. He often publicly voices his disapproval of hip-hop culture and the lifestyles of the younger generation. His comments prompted several guardians of the younger generation to voice their defense and the New York Times referred to the battle as "generational warfare."
One of the arguments is that the younger generation is a product of the older one and it is hypocritical for the older generation to criticize the younger generation without taking a look at themselves first. Mr. Cosby accuses today's youth of neglecting their history and overlooking the gains paid for by the blood of their ancestors. The flipside to this accusation refers to Mr. Cosby's younger years and the lessons he preached. Ironically, many popular hip-hop artists cite Mr. Bill Cosby as their inspiration.
When our elders complain about our generation drinking or having sex or dating outside our culture, we are also accused of ignoring our roots, forgetting where we came from and disregarding the sacrifices that our parents made to ensure opportunities for us. I sometimes wonder, were all of our grandparents wholeheartedly supportive of our parents picking up and moving to the other side of the world? Though many of our parents make it sound like it was such an easy decision and everyone in the family was wholly supportive of the global transition, I somewhat suspect that there must have been some grandparents that would have preferred their children to stay close to home. Did any of our parents defy their parents' wishes and leave the country anyway? I personally know of a handful that did.
Maybe that is where some of our strong will and determination comes from. The elders in my family often tell me that I am hard-headed and that I will do what I want to do despite what anyone tells me (including my parents). When I sit back and think about it, gee, where did I get that from? My mother is the most hard-headed and self-determined woman that I know. There is no one in the world that could tell my mother what to do (or what not to do). If she sets her mind on doing something, she is going to do it. I have a very hard time envisioning anyone, even her elders, standing in her way. Perhaps that is part of the drive and determination that got us to today, and that is what will take us to tomorrow.
Mr. Bill Cosby has been cited in several interviews accusing the younger generation of failing the civil rights movement by not holding up their end of the deal. His comments are often harsh, quoted once as saying to the younger generation, "Even God is tired of you."
Our elders have sharp tongues too. Mr. Bill Cosby really could get some pointers from our elders. Regardless, another speaker from the event guided the responsibility to the youth. He said, "We started it, you finish it." The torch must get passed on to every succeeding generation. That is a timeless truth. And perhaps to add to Mr. Cosby's words of advice, "Don't allow yourself to talk yourself out of being the best of who you are." Not even your elders.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Can You Spell J-E-R-K?
This is exactly what I thought when I read some of the coverage of the Spelling Bee finals within the Indian press. What kind of jerk would write about the Indian kids that made it to the finals of the Spelling Bee with headlines such as "California Boy is Spelling Bee Champion After Indian Fails?" Or better yet, "Indian-American Kids Disappoint" set above a photograph illustrating one of the contestants crying with her consoling mother. As a community, we do not celebrate the victory of three Indian kids making it to the Spelling Bee finals, or that at least 20% of the Spelling Bee finalists are typically Indian, or that the favored contestant and media-darling this year was Indian (Samir Patel, the "verb-a-maniac"). Shame on us for making these kids feel like failures after so much success! Do you realize how many words you have to spell to even make it to the national finals? Let's put our hands together for Prateek Kohli who was able to spell onychomycosis. My spell check does not even recognize that word. Or Kavya Shivashankar who successfully spelled porphyry, a word that I have misspelled all my life with only one Y. And Nithya P. Vijayakumar was able to spell coquillage. I have no idea what that word even means. Good job, kids. And thanks for representing the Indian community in a national forum.
Perhaps I am a little sensitive because I came in third place at the Spelling Bee in my grade school. And it was because I was going too fast and I spelled "science" instead of "scientist." I got all these hard words right, and then comes this easy word that anyone should have got, and I messed it up. I remember at home, no one congratulated me for beating the kids that were in fourth place, fifth place, sixth place and beyond. Our culture does not seem to offer any pats on the back unless we make it all the way to the top.
Some people think that is the way kids make great achievements. Studies indicate that is the way to increase suicide rates among our youth. Several years ago, several statistics started propping up in studies about the suicides among the South Asian immigrant community. On a global level, suicides among Indian girls aged 15-24 is three times more likely than our US national average. Additionally, a British study found that 34% of all non-white teen suicides were Asian, and parental pressure accounted for 82% of those crises. There are a lot of possible reasons for such deaths. Across the board, there is such a strong suicidal presence prevalent among South Asians, that Dr. Sanjay Nath of Chester, PA received a grant from the Lindback Foundation in order to further research the causes of suicides within our communities here in the US.
However, I don't need numbers or statistics to maintain a consciousness of the pressures, demands and expectations we enforce upon our youth. It makes me very angry when I see other Indian adults doing anything but praising the accomplishments of our youth. We can always see the glass either half-full or half-empty. We can say, oh, you did not make first place, too bad. Or we can say, great job, you made it all the way to second place!
Don't tell the kids that they failed or that they disappointed us. These eleven and twelve-year-olds put us on the map. Talk about representing! The Spelling Bee is known for the strong presence of Indians making it so far. Maybe ten years from now, the sequel to "Akelia and the Bee" will be "White Boys Can't Spell" because Indians will totally dominate the Spelling Bee and National Spelling Bee organizers will be forced to step the spelling list up a notch because our kids have mad root skills. With positive reinforcement at all times, our kids will naturally want to be the best they can be, and man, if all our kids strived to be the best with an undying fervor and passion, the rest of America would not know what they are in for! Our kids can be the best, however it starts with us, the adults in their lives. We need to stop being so negative, and stop making kids feel bad. Just stop being a jerk. J-E-R-K. Jerk.
Perhaps I am a little sensitive because I came in third place at the Spelling Bee in my grade school. And it was because I was going too fast and I spelled "science" instead of "scientist." I got all these hard words right, and then comes this easy word that anyone should have got, and I messed it up. I remember at home, no one congratulated me for beating the kids that were in fourth place, fifth place, sixth place and beyond. Our culture does not seem to offer any pats on the back unless we make it all the way to the top.
Some people think that is the way kids make great achievements. Studies indicate that is the way to increase suicide rates among our youth. Several years ago, several statistics started propping up in studies about the suicides among the South Asian immigrant community. On a global level, suicides among Indian girls aged 15-24 is three times more likely than our US national average. Additionally, a British study found that 34% of all non-white teen suicides were Asian, and parental pressure accounted for 82% of those crises. There are a lot of possible reasons for such deaths. Across the board, there is such a strong suicidal presence prevalent among South Asians, that Dr. Sanjay Nath of Chester, PA received a grant from the Lindback Foundation in order to further research the causes of suicides within our communities here in the US.
However, I don't need numbers or statistics to maintain a consciousness of the pressures, demands and expectations we enforce upon our youth. It makes me very angry when I see other Indian adults doing anything but praising the accomplishments of our youth. We can always see the glass either half-full or half-empty. We can say, oh, you did not make first place, too bad. Or we can say, great job, you made it all the way to second place!
Don't tell the kids that they failed or that they disappointed us. These eleven and twelve-year-olds put us on the map. Talk about representing! The Spelling Bee is known for the strong presence of Indians making it so far. Maybe ten years from now, the sequel to "Akelia and the Bee" will be "White Boys Can't Spell" because Indians will totally dominate the Spelling Bee and National Spelling Bee organizers will be forced to step the spelling list up a notch because our kids have mad root skills. With positive reinforcement at all times, our kids will naturally want to be the best they can be, and man, if all our kids strived to be the best with an undying fervor and passion, the rest of America would not know what they are in for! Our kids can be the best, however it starts with us, the adults in their lives. We need to stop being so negative, and stop making kids feel bad. Just stop being a jerk. J-E-R-K. Jerk.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Spring Cleaning Through the Season of Hate
Recently at work I was having lunch with one of my co-workers, and we somehow got on the topic of race relations. She asked me how people of my ethnicity feel about other races. I took a deep breath as I was lining up my response, and another friend quickly interjected something to the effect of "Indians invented racism!" He continued with an explanation of how my people produced an entire system that perpetrated racism among its own people in the name of God, so given that, it is expected that Indians are intolerant of anyone outside of the narrow perimeters that we identify with. He clarified using me as an example. My family identifies with Gujarati Brahmins and that is who we feel equal to. Any other Gujarati, or any other caste, would have my family feeling superior, and we perceive being well above African Americans, Latinos, Whites, and we definitely do not like Muslims.
The caste system is alive and well in India and reports after the Tsunami brought the issue to the attention of Westerners when it was revealed that lower caste survivors were not able to access relief supplies. How cruel do we look to the rest of the world when they send us relief from a natural disaster and our Brahmin-based government restricts lowers castes from obtaining supplies!
My co-worker does not really know a whole lot about Indian culture, so she was sure that this report was a huge exaggeration and she was looking to me for a response. I really did not know how to respond. I mean, much of what my friend articulated was true. I was raised to have a superiority complex based on where I came from and my family does feel that our lineage makes us cut above pretty much everyone.
Being put on the spot, I searched for an explanation that she may relate to. Working for a social service agency, we are often presented with individuals in life situations that we can't judge if we want to effectively assist. And many of those life situations, we can't understand how they came to be without fully realizing all the life experiences that led them there. When another culture comes into play, you really can't judge.
The Asian Bar Association in my city of residence strives to increase awareness on cultural issues in criminal defense. For example, in People vs. Kimura, a Japanese woman attempted to perform "oyako-shinju", a parent-child suicide, when she learned of her husband's infidelity. Through her act, her children did not make it, however she survived and was charged with first degree murder. The Japanese American community produced a petition with over 25,000 signatures appealing to the courts to reconsider prosecution based on the fact that her actions were based on a different worldview.
My response to my co-worker began by putting cultures in the context of homes in a small community. I explained to her that there are many elements within our culture that oppress our people. We are aware and we are working toward reconciling them. Sometimes what happens within your home is difficult to explain to those outside your household. And even when you attempt to explain it, you get cross-eyed looks from people spitting out simple solutions. Such as, why don't you just legalize drugs, and that would solve gang violence. I told her that the caste system is a tradition that goes back thousands of years and my lineage is responsible for executing many of the practices that resulted in various privileges that my family has enjoyed, however there is no easy answer in reconciling years and years of oppression. Just as there is no easy answer to balancing 400 years of slavery in the United States, there is no easy answer to respond to discrimination under the roof I live in either.
I concluded by expressing to my co-worker that this is an issue that our culture is responding to and it can only be dealt with internally. So before passing judgment on me and those that share my ethnicity, let us do our spring cleaning and resolve our differences. My hopes are that our spring cleaning does not last thousands of years and that within my lifetime, I will be able to relate the honest look we take at ourselves and the resulting measures that reconcile the blatant disservice to humanity that we conduct under our own roofs. Will the season of hate change over in this lifetime? I am optimistic that the new generation of Indians all over the world will respond.
The caste system is alive and well in India and reports after the Tsunami brought the issue to the attention of Westerners when it was revealed that lower caste survivors were not able to access relief supplies. How cruel do we look to the rest of the world when they send us relief from a natural disaster and our Brahmin-based government restricts lowers castes from obtaining supplies!
My co-worker does not really know a whole lot about Indian culture, so she was sure that this report was a huge exaggeration and she was looking to me for a response. I really did not know how to respond. I mean, much of what my friend articulated was true. I was raised to have a superiority complex based on where I came from and my family does feel that our lineage makes us cut above pretty much everyone.
Being put on the spot, I searched for an explanation that she may relate to. Working for a social service agency, we are often presented with individuals in life situations that we can't judge if we want to effectively assist. And many of those life situations, we can't understand how they came to be without fully realizing all the life experiences that led them there. When another culture comes into play, you really can't judge.
The Asian Bar Association in my city of residence strives to increase awareness on cultural issues in criminal defense. For example, in People vs. Kimura, a Japanese woman attempted to perform "oyako-shinju", a parent-child suicide, when she learned of her husband's infidelity. Through her act, her children did not make it, however she survived and was charged with first degree murder. The Japanese American community produced a petition with over 25,000 signatures appealing to the courts to reconsider prosecution based on the fact that her actions were based on a different worldview.
My response to my co-worker began by putting cultures in the context of homes in a small community. I explained to her that there are many elements within our culture that oppress our people. We are aware and we are working toward reconciling them. Sometimes what happens within your home is difficult to explain to those outside your household. And even when you attempt to explain it, you get cross-eyed looks from people spitting out simple solutions. Such as, why don't you just legalize drugs, and that would solve gang violence. I told her that the caste system is a tradition that goes back thousands of years and my lineage is responsible for executing many of the practices that resulted in various privileges that my family has enjoyed, however there is no easy answer in reconciling years and years of oppression. Just as there is no easy answer to balancing 400 years of slavery in the United States, there is no easy answer to respond to discrimination under the roof I live in either.
I concluded by expressing to my co-worker that this is an issue that our culture is responding to and it can only be dealt with internally. So before passing judgment on me and those that share my ethnicity, let us do our spring cleaning and resolve our differences. My hopes are that our spring cleaning does not last thousands of years and that within my lifetime, I will be able to relate the honest look we take at ourselves and the resulting measures that reconcile the blatant disservice to humanity that we conduct under our own roofs. Will the season of hate change over in this lifetime? I am optimistic that the new generation of Indians all over the world will respond.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Community Services, By Us For Us
Working for a non-profit that focuses on ethnic minorities, as well as serving as the minority representative for the Community Services Commission in my city of residence, I tend to view pretty much everything through a lens that identifies differences based on race, ethnicity and culture.
Perhaps Chicago has spoiled me. I am accustomed to our community taking initiative to address the needs of our people. Needless to say, it is annoying to me when I see outsiders of a culture attempting to address a need without fully understanding the cultural dynamics of a community. For example, I live in a small pocket on the outskirts of a capital city, and it seems as no coincidence that my entire neighborhood of about 8 blocks consists predominantly of African Americans, Latinos, Asians and low-income whites. I did not choose to live in this neighborhood. Various circumstances seemed to lead me here, as if the arm of our city's capital ushered me to this neighborhood because this was where I belonged.
This small roughly 8-block community is fully saturated with a plethora of community organizations. Considering the lens I see things through, it is hard not to notice that most of the organizations are led and executed by middle-class white folks who have said, "I will not be afraid." Despite the inflated rumors of fights, thugs, and prostitutes and gangs and whatever else the imagination can muster up, they decide "I want to save those people." Yes, we really are often referred to as "those people." Without really understanding our backgrounds and our various cultures, the journey to end social ailments proceeds.
They identify what we need. More disability checks. More food pantries. More vouchers for this and that. Can anyone say "crutch"? The Desi-scene in Chicago is not like that. There are still tons of services for our people. Apna Ghar, Indo American Center, and so many others are run by us, for us. If anyone unfamiliar with our culture wants to contribute, they are welcomed, but they have to conform to our culture. Not the other way around.
There needs to be a consciousness of the constant pressure placed upon us all to assimilate into one with some influences being stronger than others. Be conscious of the way you look at things and make conscious decisions that reflect our cultural values. Sometimes that may mean we have to stand up and be the oddball to say "This is how it is. Deal with it." This voice is so important. We are in the first, second and third generation of Indians here. Our decisions will base how tenth, eleventh and twelfth generation Indians reflect our culture.
I recently visited an Asian-run organization that serves after-school programs for East Asian middle school girls in an effort to address self-esteem and foster self-image consciousness. They were addressing some performance that the girls recently made that was considered provocative. Maybe it was, I don't know, I was not there. However, I wanted to know whose standard the girls' performance was being based on? Nearly every Bollywood movie features a sexy, enticing dance scene, and we encourage our six-year old daughters to replicate those dance scenes on stage at our events. Those unfamiliar with our culture may very likely think we are exploiting our children. Were the young Hmong girls interpreting a cultural dance influenced by MTV and hip hop? I don't know, but that question needs to be asked. Who knows, maybe Asian girls are a little more self-assured than they are given credit for. Is low-self esteem really an issue among Asian girls? Or are we attempting to treat another more predominant culture's ailment without fully examining its existence within our own?
I live in a community that attempts to convene to address the needs of our neighbors, however our efforts are often seen by others as inefficient and ineffective, and it is often thought that all we do is argue and fight and we don't get anything done. When you have a dozen or so people representing two generations and cultures encompassing four continents attempting to resolve a problem as something like, oh I don't know, poverty? Disagreements are bound to occur. However looking at the results of our actions through a different lens, you may see that we all love one another and we do make things happen. We may not hold meetings that are called to order via motions and Roberts Rules. However, is that the only way to make an impact and serve needs? They say Rome was not built by having meetings. Maybe, just maybe, there is some truth to that.
Perhaps Chicago has spoiled me. I am accustomed to our community taking initiative to address the needs of our people. Needless to say, it is annoying to me when I see outsiders of a culture attempting to address a need without fully understanding the cultural dynamics of a community. For example, I live in a small pocket on the outskirts of a capital city, and it seems as no coincidence that my entire neighborhood of about 8 blocks consists predominantly of African Americans, Latinos, Asians and low-income whites. I did not choose to live in this neighborhood. Various circumstances seemed to lead me here, as if the arm of our city's capital ushered me to this neighborhood because this was where I belonged.
This small roughly 8-block community is fully saturated with a plethora of community organizations. Considering the lens I see things through, it is hard not to notice that most of the organizations are led and executed by middle-class white folks who have said, "I will not be afraid." Despite the inflated rumors of fights, thugs, and prostitutes and gangs and whatever else the imagination can muster up, they decide "I want to save those people." Yes, we really are often referred to as "those people." Without really understanding our backgrounds and our various cultures, the journey to end social ailments proceeds.
They identify what we need. More disability checks. More food pantries. More vouchers for this and that. Can anyone say "crutch"? The Desi-scene in Chicago is not like that. There are still tons of services for our people. Apna Ghar, Indo American Center, and so many others are run by us, for us. If anyone unfamiliar with our culture wants to contribute, they are welcomed, but they have to conform to our culture. Not the other way around.
There needs to be a consciousness of the constant pressure placed upon us all to assimilate into one with some influences being stronger than others. Be conscious of the way you look at things and make conscious decisions that reflect our cultural values. Sometimes that may mean we have to stand up and be the oddball to say "This is how it is. Deal with it." This voice is so important. We are in the first, second and third generation of Indians here. Our decisions will base how tenth, eleventh and twelfth generation Indians reflect our culture.
I recently visited an Asian-run organization that serves after-school programs for East Asian middle school girls in an effort to address self-esteem and foster self-image consciousness. They were addressing some performance that the girls recently made that was considered provocative. Maybe it was, I don't know, I was not there. However, I wanted to know whose standard the girls' performance was being based on? Nearly every Bollywood movie features a sexy, enticing dance scene, and we encourage our six-year old daughters to replicate those dance scenes on stage at our events. Those unfamiliar with our culture may very likely think we are exploiting our children. Were the young Hmong girls interpreting a cultural dance influenced by MTV and hip hop? I don't know, but that question needs to be asked. Who knows, maybe Asian girls are a little more self-assured than they are given credit for. Is low-self esteem really an issue among Asian girls? Or are we attempting to treat another more predominant culture's ailment without fully examining its existence within our own?
I live in a community that attempts to convene to address the needs of our neighbors, however our efforts are often seen by others as inefficient and ineffective, and it is often thought that all we do is argue and fight and we don't get anything done. When you have a dozen or so people representing two generations and cultures encompassing four continents attempting to resolve a problem as something like, oh I don't know, poverty? Disagreements are bound to occur. However looking at the results of our actions through a different lens, you may see that we all love one another and we do make things happen. We may not hold meetings that are called to order via motions and Roberts Rules. However, is that the only way to make an impact and serve needs? They say Rome was not built by having meetings. Maybe, just maybe, there is some truth to that.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Mirror, Mirror On The Wall
All of us who have read Snow White are familiar with the queen who would ask “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” The magic mirror would respond “You are.” The day came when the magic mirror responded that Snow White is the most beautiful girl in the land. The queen who was consumed by vanity became enraged at the mere notion that another could bear more fairness than Her Highness.
Back in the day, women who were of fair skin were seen as being more affluent, from lineage that did not require them to labor in the sun and darken their porcelain, white-as–a-pearl skin. Indians value this same trait within our own culture. We view women with lighter skin tones as being more beautiful. Bollywood posters glamorize women with fair skin who often end up getting contracts with Western cosmetic companies like Revlon.
Within my own family, whenever I or any of my siblings would meet another Indian love-interest, one of the first questions from our elders would be “Is he fair?” or “Does she have fair skin?” I would sometimes be a little irritated answering the question because many times, the man they were asking about was fair-skinned and I really did not want to reinforce fair skin validating the value of the person that I am with.
In perusing matrimonials, my elders would often reference a handful of ads and single them out as men I would most likely not be interested in. Based on the geographical identity, there is a perception on the skin tone of the suitor, and based on that skin tone, it was concluded that the suitor was unsuitable.
At the end of Snow White, the vain queen dies and Snow White reigns as the new queen. Luckily the real world does not have to be reflective of the values in Snow White. An old episode of 20/20 detailed a study where 20 individuals were shown pictures of people and they had to assess, based on the picture alone, the level of intelligence that the person possessed. It was concluded that based on this group’s responses, fairer-skinned individuals are perceived to be more intelligent, more attractive and more successful.
It leads to the question as to why a dark-skinned South Asian woman can’t be a glamorous Bollywood actress and share the same level of success as her fair-skinned counterparts? It is up to us, the viewers and consumers, to decide who is glamorized and who is not. It’s the basic business principles that are so ingrained in all of us. Supply and demand. If we impact the demand of any particular hero or heroine, the supply will inevitably follow.
If anyone looks up pictures of Bollywood heroines in public places signing autographs for their Indian fans, the differences in skin tone will be very evident. Many independent filmmakers have cast darker skinned heroines, and that is something that I have been pleased to see. It may take some time for Bollywood to follow suit since beauty pageant winners are predominantly light-skinned, and it is the pageant winners who move on to success in Bollywood. Who influences the pageant decisions? Typically a select few.
Another study that I read by the
I hope that as a community the way we view beauty adjusts over time because the last thing I would want is my child feeling bad about herself because her skin is darker than mine.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
East Meets West and West Meets SitaRam
There was quite a buzz some time ago about the recent stage production, SitaRam, that played for a limited 3-week run at Looking Glass Theater, a refined Chicagoland theater company. There were many statements made by the production relating to race and culture that affect our daily lives today, and it is disturbing to me that even a year later, no one has really addressed them. The show ended up selling out to the theater company’s subscribers before tickets were made available to the public, so many Indians were unable to secure an opportunity to see the performance, even if they were willing to shell out the money for tickets.
Walking into the play, I was a little guarded because of the mixed feelings I received about the production. The membership base of the theater company is predominantly white and well-to-do. So without any previous exposure to the play, I was a little critical of the racial dynamics. Before the play began, the production team introduced themselves to the audience and of the key team, only one person was Indian. I was very irritated that everyone mispronounced her name and it was all made out to be a big joke. She even commented that she should maybe change her last name to Smith. The joke was well-received by the audience.
The play opened with an introduction to Hanuman, depicted by an African American actor. I have heard in many circles the question raised as to whether it is socially irresponsible for Looking Glass Theater to cast an African American as a monkey. God or no God, considering the connections between African Americans portrayed as monkeys in times of slavery, many African American groups have a zero-tolerance on any connections between monkeys and their people. I wonder if any Indian actors were interested in playing the role of Hanuman? That would have been an easy way to avoid any misconceptions.
I approached Isaiah Robinson, the actor portraying Hanuman, after the show and I asked him about some of the racial dynamics of the production, and questioned him, as an African American male, how he would feel if Looking Glass produced a play depicting the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and chose to cast a white man to play the lead. He responded “Martin Luther King represents the unification of all races, and if a white man had the passion and ability to pull it off, I think that would be great.” I have a feeling that some scholars and race relations leaders would disagree.
Some local South Asian groups of actors and actresses were somewhat disturbed. For an Indian epic to be produced by such a prestigious theater company, some South Asians anticipated an opportunity to get their foot in the door at Looking Glass Theater while playing a part that is so close to their roots. As it turned out, Shiva and Hanuman were African American and Brahma, our creator, was white. Sita was Indian, and Ravana and Surpanakha were Indian as well. The classical Indian score was produced by a popular musician named Jai Uttal, who is also not Indian, but rather Jewish. He is an excellent musician who has spent a lot of time in
Ironically, the scriptwriter, David Kersner had a goal with this production of demonstrating different cultures coming together. I ask if the Ramayana is the appropriate vehicle for such a goal. I spoke to David and he was convinced that it was the perfect opportunity for such a demonstration. I don’t know if I am convinced. The entire ending of the epic had to be modified in the Looking Glass production to achieve his goals. In the play, Sita and Ram stepped into the fire together as their mission on Earth was complete and it was time to transcend to heaven. There was a strong message of love and devotion in the depiction. However while I was growing up, the Ramayana still represented love and devotion, but in a completely different light. Our epic represents a woman’s duty, her devotion, her sacrifices and ultimately her suffering. How would Christians feel if we portrayed a story where Jesus never really died on the cross, but rather had a second supper with his apostles and later got married and had children and lived happily ever after? Am I the only one who feels there were some lines crossed here? I don’t know and perhaps we will never really know since the vast majority of people who saw the play were white people who pretty much thought it was all a great production.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Sticks and Stones and Bullets Can Break My Bones
When we were kids, we were told to respond to name-calling with "sticks and stones can break my bones but names can never hurt me." I am not so sure if we can really say that names don't hurt. I was recently on YouTube catching all of Sanjaya Malakar's press coverage and mixed in with my search for media about Sanjaya Malakar were some home-made racist skits that I found so offensive. I am not sure what kind of person would produce a tape reflecting so much hate towards another human based solely on their ethnic heritage, and be proud to sign their name to it. Furthermore, who would post comments about such tapes being so funny and so great, and again, sign their name to it? I guess in the anonymous world of the Internet, you can write the most racist, hurtful thing possibly imaginable, and put it out there without having to take any responsibility for your words and actions. And it's not just in the world of the Internet, it's in our everyday human world as well.
I live in a community with some older white women who apparently have nothing going on in their lives so they complain about the Latinos and how they cook and smell up the whole building with their spices (I think it is actually the Indian cooking that causes the smell, but whatever). We live in a world with some very intolerant people. Certain people will criticize you if you do not live your life exactly the way that they live theirs. If you come from a culture where families are important and weekends consist of families coming together to sit and talk and eat and have fun, you will be criticized because you are Mexican or Puerto Rican. Are the old white ladies perhaps mad that their families do not want to visit them? One of the elderly white women who regularly complains to me about the Latinos also tells me that her kids will not come see her and she blames that on the African Americans and Latinos that live in the neighborhood. She says that her kids do not feel safe coming to visit her. I wonder if they just don't feel safe around her? I think if you have a mother that constantly criticizes everything you do, as an adult, you may not really want to be around her all that much.
The same holds true for all adult relationships. If anyone wants to try and make me feel bad about anything in my life, I have the ability to eliminate them from my life. It is a little harder to do that when you are younger, and that is why we have episodes like the Virginia Tech shootings. Cho Seung-Hui, the shooter of what is commonly referred to as the deadliest mass shooting since 1991, has a whole extensive history of "rich white kids" teasing and making fun of him and making him feel bad for not speaking English very well and his Korean heritage. And then we wonder how something like this could happen? The media paints this terrible picture of dead bodies being carried out of the school with cell-phones from their pockets ringing, most likely from parents hearing the news and calling to see if they are okay. When the identity of the shooter is released, the country all hops on a Korean-hating bandwagon. And since most white people don't care to tell the difference between Korean, Vietnamese or Chinese, it ends up being an East Asian hating bandwagon. Just like after 9-11 when our country went through a brown-people hating phase. Is there a cycle here that just keeps perpetuating more hate? Remember we're not immune to it - less than a year ago, an Indian kid shot up his school in Canada. What is going on?
It's hard to say what should be done. I have an African American friend who often says if a white person calls him the n-word, he would knock him out (he says it a little more colorfully than that, but you get the idea). This same man has a job working with kids and one of the kids he works with did just that when a white boy called him the n-word. The African American kid ended up getting suspended and the white kid got detention. Is that fair? We live in a world where we do not have to be accountable or responsible for our words and our language. What is the result of that? Virginia Tech.
I live in a community with some older white women who apparently have nothing going on in their lives so they complain about the Latinos and how they cook and smell up the whole building with their spices (I think it is actually the Indian cooking that causes the smell, but whatever). We live in a world with some very intolerant people. Certain people will criticize you if you do not live your life exactly the way that they live theirs. If you come from a culture where families are important and weekends consist of families coming together to sit and talk and eat and have fun, you will be criticized because you are Mexican or Puerto Rican. Are the old white ladies perhaps mad that their families do not want to visit them? One of the elderly white women who regularly complains to me about the Latinos also tells me that her kids will not come see her and she blames that on the African Americans and Latinos that live in the neighborhood. She says that her kids do not feel safe coming to visit her. I wonder if they just don't feel safe around her? I think if you have a mother that constantly criticizes everything you do, as an adult, you may not really want to be around her all that much.
The same holds true for all adult relationships. If anyone wants to try and make me feel bad about anything in my life, I have the ability to eliminate them from my life. It is a little harder to do that when you are younger, and that is why we have episodes like the Virginia Tech shootings. Cho Seung-Hui, the shooter of what is commonly referred to as the deadliest mass shooting since 1991, has a whole extensive history of "rich white kids" teasing and making fun of him and making him feel bad for not speaking English very well and his Korean heritage. And then we wonder how something like this could happen? The media paints this terrible picture of dead bodies being carried out of the school with cell-phones from their pockets ringing, most likely from parents hearing the news and calling to see if they are okay. When the identity of the shooter is released, the country all hops on a Korean-hating bandwagon. And since most white people don't care to tell the difference between Korean, Vietnamese or Chinese, it ends up being an East Asian hating bandwagon. Just like after 9-11 when our country went through a brown-people hating phase. Is there a cycle here that just keeps perpetuating more hate? Remember we're not immune to it - less than a year ago, an Indian kid shot up his school in Canada. What is going on?
It's hard to say what should be done. I have an African American friend who often says if a white person calls him the n-word, he would knock him out (he says it a little more colorfully than that, but you get the idea). This same man has a job working with kids and one of the kids he works with did just that when a white boy called him the n-word. The African American kid ended up getting suspended and the white kid got detention. Is that fair? We live in a world where we do not have to be accountable or responsible for our words and our language. What is the result of that? Virginia Tech.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
Life Without India Tribune
When PrashantUncle told me that India Tribune is approaching it's 30th anniversary, I was a little dumbstruck. I have not done anything in my life for thirty years except breathe and eat. When we have a community leader that has impacted our lives for so long, it is very difficult to imagine what life would be like without that person. In my home, India Tribune has always been prominent and there are many memories that I have of India Tribune as I was growing up. For example, I remember how annoyed I used to get when I saw my mother reading matrimonial ads. I kept wanting to tell her that the hot Indian guys don't post matrimonial ads. For the record, I did learn later in life that hot Indian guys also have parents that post matrimonial ads in India Tribune, so ladies, you never know. How many couples in our Indian community came together through India Tribune matrimonial ads? How many kids did India Tribune bring to this world? It's pretty amazing when you think about it like that.
India Tribune clippings always made their way to the refrigerator at my house so my brother and I could see all the great things other Indian kids were doing. Every year there was some amazing story about some Indian kid somewhere that got a perfect score on their SATs. The clipping would remain on our fridge for about a year. A great reminder that my SAT score was far from perfect. Thanks, PrashantUncle.
I remember how much I hated going to practice every weekend to learn how to walk in the India Tribune pageant that took place on India Tribune Night. I knew I was the furthest thing from a beauty queen and we spent so much time learning how to do all this graceful walking. I was the first one to walk out and every girl that came out after me totally ignored all of what we practiced and walked pretty much how they wanted to walk. It was through this experience that I learned that Indian girls don't have to follow rules. Thanks, PrashantUncle!
Though I thought participating in the beauty pageant was so uncool at the time, now that I reflect back, it was the only Indian event that I was involved within my youth. I went to a high school that only had like four Indians, so if it were not for India Tribune and their colossal India Tribune Night, I would not have had any exposure to Indian social events as a kid. As I got older, the temple and our samaj started hosting more things for the kids, but India Tribune is really who kicked it off and set the stage for the rest of us.
It is pretty remarkable when you look at India Tribune as a media powerhouse that started with a dream. PrashantUncle has the same story of coming to the United States and building his dream as all our fathers and uncles. He has built a paper that is respected not only in the Indian community, but also by media and advertising professionals all over the world. Our community has a staple that holds us all together, and I never truly appreciated that until I went from living in Chicago to living in Madison where the Indian community is a small fraction of what was back home. The only connection I currently have with the Indian community is when I get my India Tribune in the mail. I look forward to perusing the paper and seeing what all is going on within our community. How many other Indians out there are like me?
The India Tribune has also assumed the responsibility of defining the transitions within our culture and identity. For example, once we see India Tribune report about people living out unconventional careers, parents are more likely to consider their kids giving filmmaking a shot before enrolling in med school. India Tribune has the power to shape norms in our community, and it has always done so responsibly while fulfilling the needs of readers from multiple generations. PrashantUncle is responsible for building an institution that has shaped our community on many levels. Sure now there are many other Indian publications that can be picked up here, there and pretty much everywhere. But none have the legacy behind them that the name India Tribune carries. It's like the New York Times of the Indian community. Sure New York has all sorts of publications, but the New York Times is what carries the reputation of responsible journalism and reporting integrity. Thank you, PrashantUncle for providing the Indian community with a professional register and record of our last thirty years. Here is to thirty more!
India Tribune clippings always made their way to the refrigerator at my house so my brother and I could see all the great things other Indian kids were doing. Every year there was some amazing story about some Indian kid somewhere that got a perfect score on their SATs. The clipping would remain on our fridge for about a year. A great reminder that my SAT score was far from perfect. Thanks, PrashantUncle.
I remember how much I hated going to practice every weekend to learn how to walk in the India Tribune pageant that took place on India Tribune Night. I knew I was the furthest thing from a beauty queen and we spent so much time learning how to do all this graceful walking. I was the first one to walk out and every girl that came out after me totally ignored all of what we practiced and walked pretty much how they wanted to walk. It was through this experience that I learned that Indian girls don't have to follow rules. Thanks, PrashantUncle!
Though I thought participating in the beauty pageant was so uncool at the time, now that I reflect back, it was the only Indian event that I was involved within my youth. I went to a high school that only had like four Indians, so if it were not for India Tribune and their colossal India Tribune Night, I would not have had any exposure to Indian social events as a kid. As I got older, the temple and our samaj started hosting more things for the kids, but India Tribune is really who kicked it off and set the stage for the rest of us.
It is pretty remarkable when you look at India Tribune as a media powerhouse that started with a dream. PrashantUncle has the same story of coming to the United States and building his dream as all our fathers and uncles. He has built a paper that is respected not only in the Indian community, but also by media and advertising professionals all over the world. Our community has a staple that holds us all together, and I never truly appreciated that until I went from living in Chicago to living in Madison where the Indian community is a small fraction of what was back home. The only connection I currently have with the Indian community is when I get my India Tribune in the mail. I look forward to perusing the paper and seeing what all is going on within our community. How many other Indians out there are like me?
The India Tribune has also assumed the responsibility of defining the transitions within our culture and identity. For example, once we see India Tribune report about people living out unconventional careers, parents are more likely to consider their kids giving filmmaking a shot before enrolling in med school. India Tribune has the power to shape norms in our community, and it has always done so responsibly while fulfilling the needs of readers from multiple generations. PrashantUncle is responsible for building an institution that has shaped our community on many levels. Sure now there are many other Indian publications that can be picked up here, there and pretty much everywhere. But none have the legacy behind them that the name India Tribune carries. It's like the New York Times of the Indian community. Sure New York has all sorts of publications, but the New York Times is what carries the reputation of responsible journalism and reporting integrity. Thank you, PrashantUncle for providing the Indian community with a professional register and record of our last thirty years. Here is to thirty more!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
First Time For Everything
They say you are never too old to try something new, and as I approach my middle ages, I experience the notion of teaching an old dog new tricks. Sometimes I am simply adverse to change and as much as I try to think of myself as being progressive and open to new things, I have to say, I am really not. But earlier this week, I did do something that I have never done before. And it was kind of cool. I finally for the first time in my life voted on American Idol. I formally registered my vote for Sanjaya Malakar, the new tween-heartthrob of America, who happens to be Indian.
Is it not the coolest thing that this adorable Indian kid is in the hearts of every 13-year-old in America? I know people say that Sanjaya is ruining American Idol because he can't really sing, but come on, can the Backstreet Boys really sing? Sanjaya could very well be the newest sensation sweeping the nation, and yes, I will vote for him just because he is Indian.
It aggravates me beyond belief when I read all the blogs and articles out there that say that Sanjaya is getting all his votes from Indian call centers that are hijacking the phone lines and registering multiple votes. Please. Are you trying to tell me that if you had two phone lines and you were trying to vote, you would not use both lines to call in? These crazy theories about Indian call centers remind me of the conspiracy theories that there is no way that black people built pyramids during Ancient Egyptian Times so it is obvious that aliens came down to build it for them. And it is difficult not to notice that all these theories are coming from white people. Now in the technological age of blogs that publish pictures of the authors, it is pretty easy to see who is complaining about the call centers. All I have to say to these white people is why don't you open up your own call center, and then you can use all the phone lines to call in and vote for your favorite American Idol.
What I find even more aggravating, is that these same white people always complain about any edge that any race may have over them. Correct me if I am wrong, but is it not true that we live in a society that breeds white privilege? How can any white person complain about something not being fair? I remember a couple of years ago, there was this Hawaiian girl on American Idol that made it to the top three and all the white people got mad because she really could not sing. But, she had all the Japanese and Hawaiian people calling in and voting for her. So what?
America is all about identifying with your culture within this melting pot society. I have a Greek friend who had a speeding ticket and had to go to court to fight it. He came back from court to tell me that he was so relieved that the judge was also Greek because he felt that he got a much more lenient ruling than he might have if the judge was of some other ethnicity. I know that when I have ever been in any position of power, I have always tried to look out for Indian people. So here we are, with an Indian kid with big dreams and such a lovable sense of style that has made it all the way to the top 8 contestants in American Idol. Of course there are going to be many Indians that vote for Sanjaya just because he is Indian without any regard to how he sings. I do not see anything wrong with that. I will buy his CDs when they are released because he is Indian and I believe in his dream and I want to buy into it.
I say that we all vote for Sanjaya and if anyone questions us or makes us feel bad about voting for someone that all the white people are hating on, we should confront it. We are not voting for talent, we are voting for a dream that we believe in. Can Britney Spears really sing? No. Can Jessica Simpson really sing? No. Why can't an Indian kid have that same dream? I certainly am not going to let a white person tell me that it can't be.
Is it not the coolest thing that this adorable Indian kid is in the hearts of every 13-year-old in America? I know people say that Sanjaya is ruining American Idol because he can't really sing, but come on, can the Backstreet Boys really sing? Sanjaya could very well be the newest sensation sweeping the nation, and yes, I will vote for him just because he is Indian.
It aggravates me beyond belief when I read all the blogs and articles out there that say that Sanjaya is getting all his votes from Indian call centers that are hijacking the phone lines and registering multiple votes. Please. Are you trying to tell me that if you had two phone lines and you were trying to vote, you would not use both lines to call in? These crazy theories about Indian call centers remind me of the conspiracy theories that there is no way that black people built pyramids during Ancient Egyptian Times so it is obvious that aliens came down to build it for them. And it is difficult not to notice that all these theories are coming from white people. Now in the technological age of blogs that publish pictures of the authors, it is pretty easy to see who is complaining about the call centers. All I have to say to these white people is why don't you open up your own call center, and then you can use all the phone lines to call in and vote for your favorite American Idol.
What I find even more aggravating, is that these same white people always complain about any edge that any race may have over them. Correct me if I am wrong, but is it not true that we live in a society that breeds white privilege? How can any white person complain about something not being fair? I remember a couple of years ago, there was this Hawaiian girl on American Idol that made it to the top three and all the white people got mad because she really could not sing. But, she had all the Japanese and Hawaiian people calling in and voting for her. So what?
America is all about identifying with your culture within this melting pot society. I have a Greek friend who had a speeding ticket and had to go to court to fight it. He came back from court to tell me that he was so relieved that the judge was also Greek because he felt that he got a much more lenient ruling than he might have if the judge was of some other ethnicity. I know that when I have ever been in any position of power, I have always tried to look out for Indian people. So here we are, with an Indian kid with big dreams and such a lovable sense of style that has made it all the way to the top 8 contestants in American Idol. Of course there are going to be many Indians that vote for Sanjaya just because he is Indian without any regard to how he sings. I do not see anything wrong with that. I will buy his CDs when they are released because he is Indian and I believe in his dream and I want to buy into it.
I say that we all vote for Sanjaya and if anyone questions us or makes us feel bad about voting for someone that all the white people are hating on, we should confront it. We are not voting for talent, we are voting for a dream that we believe in. Can Britney Spears really sing? No. Can Jessica Simpson really sing? No. Why can't an Indian kid have that same dream? I certainly am not going to let a white person tell me that it can't be.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
The Importance of Education
We all talk about how education is so important and for many of us, our parents do not care what we do, as long we as we obtain our education in the process. A Bachelors Degree is a minimal standard in our households and we typically assume that all Indians that are in the 28-year-old age range at least have their Bachelors Degree.
At a recent Samaj I attended, I met many Indians who worked within educational institutions as Department Chairs or Deans of this or that University. Though I think it is great Indian people have such influence in our University settings, I am wondering if they can utilize their positions to better meet the needs of Indian students. I do not even know what the needs of Indian students are because no one has really sat down to identify them. It seems like someone should since we have so many of our people working in the University setting in positions of power.
At the college that I teach at, there is a Hispanic woman named Maria Banuelos who holds the position of Associate Vice President for Diversity and Community Relations. If you were to visit the Madison Area Technical College (MATC), without even knowing anything about the school, you would immediately feel the influence her work has had on this school because it is very welcoming to the Hispanic community. It's not like there are signs on the walls that say "Welcome Mexicans". It is rather in the intangible elements of the school. For example, many of the instructors there are Hispanic. In the hiring process of the school, MATC makes a very active effort to hire diverse faculty. I participated in the convocation for the school, which is basically a big meeting for all the teachers to learn how to be better instructors. I was very pleased to see how diverse the faculty pool is. There were a lot of Hispanic instructors, but there were also instructors of many other ethnicities. That made me feel really good about being a part of this institution.
Additionally, this college offers entire vocational programs where all the classed are taught in Spanish. The premise behind the programs is that individuals learn better in their native language, rather than in their second language, so although many of the students that are enrolled in these programs speak English, they are learning new skills in their native tongue.
Maybe similar initiatives are not made within the Indian community because we all try so hard to assimilate within the culture we are in. I remember as a child when my parents would pack an occasional lunch for me that was not the all-American peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I would be embarrassed. I did not want to eat roti and daal at school. My classmates made me feel bad for being different and teased me about how my food smelled. Now as an adult, I am a little mad that white people made me feel like that about my culture. So at work, I don't care if the masala in my lunch makes the whole floor smell like little-India. I am not going to let anyone make me feel bad about who I am.
Similarly when we expand the scope of that thought to various professions, I know that Indians that hold high positions in any office or profession worked very hard to get there. In the process, they had to face situations similar to what I faced as a child when my classmates made fun of my roti and daal lunch. Whether you are a man, woman, boy or girl, do not let white people make you feel bad about who you are. Look at the effect of that. We sit in these offices and pretend we are one of them, and we completely overlook the needs of our people who we could easily help if we took the initiative to do so.
Ms. Banuelos' work is a good model for us to follow. When she addresses any audience, she always begins her speech with "Buenos Dias," regardless of who is in the audience. It makes a very clear affirmation to pride in her heritage which then undoubtedly extends into her work. We have individuals in our community that demonstrate similar pride. Ms. Indra Nooyi, CEO of Pepsi Company, often wears saris and bindis to demonstrate her cultural pride. That is great for global business, but I wish we can extend that same pride in the world of education.
At a recent Samaj I attended, I met many Indians who worked within educational institutions as Department Chairs or Deans of this or that University. Though I think it is great Indian people have such influence in our University settings, I am wondering if they can utilize their positions to better meet the needs of Indian students. I do not even know what the needs of Indian students are because no one has really sat down to identify them. It seems like someone should since we have so many of our people working in the University setting in positions of power.
At the college that I teach at, there is a Hispanic woman named Maria Banuelos who holds the position of Associate Vice President for Diversity and Community Relations. If you were to visit the Madison Area Technical College (MATC), without even knowing anything about the school, you would immediately feel the influence her work has had on this school because it is very welcoming to the Hispanic community. It's not like there are signs on the walls that say "Welcome Mexicans". It is rather in the intangible elements of the school. For example, many of the instructors there are Hispanic. In the hiring process of the school, MATC makes a very active effort to hire diverse faculty. I participated in the convocation for the school, which is basically a big meeting for all the teachers to learn how to be better instructors. I was very pleased to see how diverse the faculty pool is. There were a lot of Hispanic instructors, but there were also instructors of many other ethnicities. That made me feel really good about being a part of this institution.
Additionally, this college offers entire vocational programs where all the classed are taught in Spanish. The premise behind the programs is that individuals learn better in their native language, rather than in their second language, so although many of the students that are enrolled in these programs speak English, they are learning new skills in their native tongue.
Maybe similar initiatives are not made within the Indian community because we all try so hard to assimilate within the culture we are in. I remember as a child when my parents would pack an occasional lunch for me that was not the all-American peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I would be embarrassed. I did not want to eat roti and daal at school. My classmates made me feel bad for being different and teased me about how my food smelled. Now as an adult, I am a little mad that white people made me feel like that about my culture. So at work, I don't care if the masala in my lunch makes the whole floor smell like little-India. I am not going to let anyone make me feel bad about who I am.
Similarly when we expand the scope of that thought to various professions, I know that Indians that hold high positions in any office or profession worked very hard to get there. In the process, they had to face situations similar to what I faced as a child when my classmates made fun of my roti and daal lunch. Whether you are a man, woman, boy or girl, do not let white people make you feel bad about who you are. Look at the effect of that. We sit in these offices and pretend we are one of them, and we completely overlook the needs of our people who we could easily help if we took the initiative to do so.
Ms. Banuelos' work is a good model for us to follow. When she addresses any audience, she always begins her speech with "Buenos Dias," regardless of who is in the audience. It makes a very clear affirmation to pride in her heritage which then undoubtedly extends into her work. We have individuals in our community that demonstrate similar pride. Ms. Indra Nooyi, CEO of Pepsi Company, often wears saris and bindis to demonstrate her cultural pride. That is great for global business, but I wish we can extend that same pride in the world of education.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Divorce Rates on the Rise?
There are many forums on the Internet that support South Asian communities and their search to connect with other South Asians anonymously to seek advice of various life issues. I visit such forums regularly and without attaching a name to a face, I see what some Indians are going through and where their struggles lie. I anonymously meet many Indian gays and lesbians, Indians in multi-cultural relationships, Indians struggling with caste issues and lately, I have been seeing quite a few Indians dealing with divorce. I remember a few years ago, when I was on an Indian dating Web site, there were maybe 4 or 5 divorced men on the site. Now, just a few years later, a quick search for divorced men brought up about 30 matches. Is divorce on the rise, or are divorcees coming out of hiding?
I read a conversation online about an Indian couple where an Indian girl was in love with an Indian man who was divorced. The girl's parents were displeased to say the least and both were on this forum posting messages about the pain and struggles they were going through. As with any Indian forum, it can be expected that some individuals were very supportive, and others were hurtful. Some people felt that the woman would appear tarnished if she married a man who was previously married and that the man is not really as much of a man if he is divorced. If he divorced one woman, the perception is that he could divorce many. When the going gets tough, the view is that the divorced man will be the first one out the door. Everyone knows that marriage takes a lot of work and perseverance.
Some other men came forward to share their experiences with divorce and they indicated that in some situations, the marriage was a mistake from the beginning. Maybe the marriage was arranged, or maybe the choice was made in response to family pressures to marry a certain type of person. Whatever the situation may be, considering the pressures within the Indian community when it comes to divorce, I think that both individuals within the marriage would go through an incredible learning experience when it comes to relationships, and it is my opinion that divorced men and women would be a little more secure in their future relationships because they know what they want and they definitely know what they do not want. I think that they learn from their mistakes and the next person they choose to settle down with would benefit from the lessons learned from the previous marriage. Most of the divorcees on this particular site were pretty consistent in the fact that they maintained good relationships with their ex-spouses. I think that divorce is a slightly different animal in our community than it might be in American culture so it is a little presumptuous for us to view Indian divorces through the same lens as American divorces. I don't know if Indian divorces are based on gold-digging women and sex-crazed men.
Some Indian people are very judgmental, especially when they are looking at divorced individuals. I wish they would consider the fact that some divorced men would make better husbands than many of the model Indian men out there in the marriage market. I know, because I have met both in the course of my lifetime. Let's face it, finding an Indian man from a good family background who is attractive and a med school graduate is not all too difficult to find. But the fact of the matter of is that 99% of these men (from my experiences) have serious attitude and arrogance issues because somewhere they were led to believe that the sun and moon revolve around them. Sure I could find a man that looks good on paper, but I can't live with a man like that. Divorce can be a very humbling experience that really allows for reflection of what is important in life. I really believe that divorce in our community could be an asset to a person. We need to not be so judgmental and as with anything else that we deal with in our community that we do not really know a whole lot about, the key is to listen. By listening, we will find ourselves learning.
I read a conversation online about an Indian couple where an Indian girl was in love with an Indian man who was divorced. The girl's parents were displeased to say the least and both were on this forum posting messages about the pain and struggles they were going through. As with any Indian forum, it can be expected that some individuals were very supportive, and others were hurtful. Some people felt that the woman would appear tarnished if she married a man who was previously married and that the man is not really as much of a man if he is divorced. If he divorced one woman, the perception is that he could divorce many. When the going gets tough, the view is that the divorced man will be the first one out the door. Everyone knows that marriage takes a lot of work and perseverance.
Some other men came forward to share their experiences with divorce and they indicated that in some situations, the marriage was a mistake from the beginning. Maybe the marriage was arranged, or maybe the choice was made in response to family pressures to marry a certain type of person. Whatever the situation may be, considering the pressures within the Indian community when it comes to divorce, I think that both individuals within the marriage would go through an incredible learning experience when it comes to relationships, and it is my opinion that divorced men and women would be a little more secure in their future relationships because they know what they want and they definitely know what they do not want. I think that they learn from their mistakes and the next person they choose to settle down with would benefit from the lessons learned from the previous marriage. Most of the divorcees on this particular site were pretty consistent in the fact that they maintained good relationships with their ex-spouses. I think that divorce is a slightly different animal in our community than it might be in American culture so it is a little presumptuous for us to view Indian divorces through the same lens as American divorces. I don't know if Indian divorces are based on gold-digging women and sex-crazed men.
Some Indian people are very judgmental, especially when they are looking at divorced individuals. I wish they would consider the fact that some divorced men would make better husbands than many of the model Indian men out there in the marriage market. I know, because I have met both in the course of my lifetime. Let's face it, finding an Indian man from a good family background who is attractive and a med school graduate is not all too difficult to find. But the fact of the matter of is that 99% of these men (from my experiences) have serious attitude and arrogance issues because somewhere they were led to believe that the sun and moon revolve around them. Sure I could find a man that looks good on paper, but I can't live with a man like that. Divorce can be a very humbling experience that really allows for reflection of what is important in life. I really believe that divorce in our community could be an asset to a person. We need to not be so judgmental and as with anything else that we deal with in our community that we do not really know a whole lot about, the key is to listen. By listening, we will find ourselves learning.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
The Minority of Minorities
Every so often, my work has a potluck lunch where employees are encouraged to bring a dish to share with others in the office. Since the company I work for is a non-profit agency that strives to elevate cultural understanding within our community, we are often privileged with the opportunity to try ethnic dishes from all over the world in our little office in Madison, Wisconsin. Our staff is quite colorful with all sorts of ethnicities represented, but Indian food has never made it to our potlucks because as most of my faithful readers know, I am not exactly the most kitchen-savvy woman in the world.
I have made many empty promises to my co-workers to bring an Indian dish over the last year, and I am very excited to announce that I finally made some Chana Masala for the pot luck earlier this week. The pot luck was very diverse, and since we did not have fresh puri or roti to eat the Chana with, my co-workers ate their Chana with pita bread or French fries.
To enhance the cultural flavor of my dish, I brought a Shah-Rukh Khan movie to play during our lunch. It was such a positive experience for me to share a piece of my culture. I remember as a child how embarrassed I used to get when my friends would come over to my house and my parents would be watching a Bollywood movie and the next day in school, my so-called friends would make fun of Indian language or Indian music or all the dope Indian dance moves or even the scent of Indian spices (like when they would tell me I smell like curry).
It got so bad that when I got older, and I would see white people embrace our culture, or in some instances, over-embrace our culture, and I would get mad. I remember being at a community fest once in a Chicago suburb, and there was this band with all these white guys singing songs of praise to Krishna. There were these white girls with blond hair dressed up like bharatanatyam dancers giving out CDs and one of my white friends jokingly said to me, "hey, aren't those your people?" I was so disgusted and offended, I wanted to go up to that white girl and ask her "Yea, but can you move like this?" and break out in some bharatanatyam and scoff in my prissy Indian girl way "yea, I didn't think so." The problem was I am not a trained bharatanatyam dancer, so I left it alone. But I was still mad. It's like when I was a kid, those same white girls with blond hair made me feel bad for being Indian, and now those white girls are strutting around in Indian clothes and Indian jewelry and most likely think they know all about being Indian because they bought a copy of some convoluted version of Kama Sutra from Barnes and Noble. I am still mad and it's very difficult for me to get past those hurt and angry feelings when I am talking to white women with blond hair, regardless of who they are today.
But when I went to work with my Chana Masala and my Bollywood movie and my supervisor broke into a rendition of Bollywood dance moves (which surprised me a little bit because it is a little uncharacteristic of my boss to break into any kind of dance moves at work, let alone Bollywood moves), and a few of my co-workers seemed to actually appreciate the food and the movie, it made me feel good. It also made me realize that my ownership of Indian culture and my animosity towards white girls with blond hair that try to embrace Indian culture is not too much different than white people telling me that I can't ever do what white people do. And in this day and age, saying something like that can have a lot of dangerous connotations.
So I would encourage all Indians who may relate to some of my animosity to let it go and think about sharing your culture, instead of trying to own it. Explore why your resentment exists and take some actions and some risks that could potentially reverse some of that hatred. If the experience is anything like mine, it will definitely make you feel good and you will be glad you did it. Plus now I know that if ever in my life I produce a Bollywood film, I know not to cast my co-workers as dancers!
I have made many empty promises to my co-workers to bring an Indian dish over the last year, and I am very excited to announce that I finally made some Chana Masala for the pot luck earlier this week. The pot luck was very diverse, and since we did not have fresh puri or roti to eat the Chana with, my co-workers ate their Chana with pita bread or French fries.
To enhance the cultural flavor of my dish, I brought a Shah-Rukh Khan movie to play during our lunch. It was such a positive experience for me to share a piece of my culture. I remember as a child how embarrassed I used to get when my friends would come over to my house and my parents would be watching a Bollywood movie and the next day in school, my so-called friends would make fun of Indian language or Indian music or all the dope Indian dance moves or even the scent of Indian spices (like when they would tell me I smell like curry).
It got so bad that when I got older, and I would see white people embrace our culture, or in some instances, over-embrace our culture, and I would get mad. I remember being at a community fest once in a Chicago suburb, and there was this band with all these white guys singing songs of praise to Krishna. There were these white girls with blond hair dressed up like bharatanatyam dancers giving out CDs and one of my white friends jokingly said to me, "hey, aren't those your people?" I was so disgusted and offended, I wanted to go up to that white girl and ask her "Yea, but can you move like this?" and break out in some bharatanatyam and scoff in my prissy Indian girl way "yea, I didn't think so." The problem was I am not a trained bharatanatyam dancer, so I left it alone. But I was still mad. It's like when I was a kid, those same white girls with blond hair made me feel bad for being Indian, and now those white girls are strutting around in Indian clothes and Indian jewelry and most likely think they know all about being Indian because they bought a copy of some convoluted version of Kama Sutra from Barnes and Noble. I am still mad and it's very difficult for me to get past those hurt and angry feelings when I am talking to white women with blond hair, regardless of who they are today.
But when I went to work with my Chana Masala and my Bollywood movie and my supervisor broke into a rendition of Bollywood dance moves (which surprised me a little bit because it is a little uncharacteristic of my boss to break into any kind of dance moves at work, let alone Bollywood moves), and a few of my co-workers seemed to actually appreciate the food and the movie, it made me feel good. It also made me realize that my ownership of Indian culture and my animosity towards white girls with blond hair that try to embrace Indian culture is not too much different than white people telling me that I can't ever do what white people do. And in this day and age, saying something like that can have a lot of dangerous connotations.
So I would encourage all Indians who may relate to some of my animosity to let it go and think about sharing your culture, instead of trying to own it. Explore why your resentment exists and take some actions and some risks that could potentially reverse some of that hatred. If the experience is anything like mine, it will definitely make you feel good and you will be glad you did it. Plus now I know that if ever in my life I produce a Bollywood film, I know not to cast my co-workers as dancers!
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