Can You Spell J-E-R-K?

This is exactly what I thought when I read some of the coverage of the Spelling Bee finals within the Indian press. What kind of jerk would write about the Indian kids that made it to the finals of the Spelling Bee with headlines such as "California Boy is Spelling Bee Champion After Indian Fails?" Or better yet, "Indian-American Kids Disappoint" set above a photograph illustrating one of the contestants crying with her consoling mother. As a community, we do not celebrate the victory of three Indian kids making it to the Spelling Bee finals, or that at least 20% of the Spelling Bee finalists are typically Indian, or that the favored contestant and media-darling this year was Indian (Samir Patel, the "verb-a-maniac"). Shame on us for making these kids feel like failures after so much success! Do you realize how many words you have to spell to even make it to the national finals? Let's put our hands together for Prateek Kohli who was able to spell onychomycosis. My spell check does not even recognize that word. Or Kavya Shivashankar who successfully spelled porphyry, a word that I have misspelled all my life with only one Y. And Nithya P. Vijayakumar was able to spell coquillage. I have no idea what that word even means. Good job, kids. And thanks for representing the Indian community in a national forum.

Perhaps I am a little sensitive because I came in third place at the Spelling Bee in my grade school. And it was because I was going too fast and I spelled "science" instead of "scientist." I got all these hard words right, and then comes this easy word that anyone should have got, and I messed it up. I remember at home, no one congratulated me for beating the kids that were in fourth place, fifth place, sixth place and beyond. Our culture does not seem to offer any pats on the back unless we make it all the way to the top.

Some people think that is the way kids make great achievements. Studies indicate that is the way to increase suicide rates among our youth. Several years ago, several statistics started propping up in studies about the suicides among the South Asian immigrant community. On a global level, suicides among Indian girls aged 15-24 is three times more likely than our US national average. Additionally, a British study found that 34% of all non-white teen suicides were Asian, and parental pressure accounted for 82% of those crises. There are a lot of possible reasons for such deaths. Across the board, there is such a strong suicidal presence prevalent among South Asians, that Dr. Sanjay Nath of Chester, PA received a grant from the Lindback Foundation in order to further research the causes of suicides within our communities here in the US.

However, I don't need numbers or statistics to maintain a consciousness of the pressures, demands and expectations we enforce upon our youth. It makes me very angry when I see other Indian adults doing anything but praising the accomplishments of our youth. We can always see the glass either half-full or half-empty. We can say, oh, you did not make first place, too bad. Or we can say, great job, you made it all the way to second place!

Don't tell the kids that they failed or that they disappointed us. These eleven and twelve-year-olds put us on the map. Talk about representing! The Spelling Bee is known for the strong presence of Indians making it so far. Maybe ten years from now, the sequel to "Akelia and the Bee" will be "White Boys Can't Spell" because Indians will totally dominate the Spelling Bee and National Spelling Bee organizers will be forced to step the spelling list up a notch because our kids have mad root skills. With positive reinforcement at all times, our kids will naturally want to be the best they can be, and man, if all our kids strived to be the best with an undying fervor and passion, the rest of America would not know what they are in for! Our kids can be the best, however it starts with us, the adults in their lives. We need to stop being so negative, and stop making kids feel bad. Just stop being a jerk. J-E-R-K. Jerk.