The Bill Cosby Syndrome

The entire staff at my work went to a motivational retreat in Milwaukee where various celebrities talked about success and perseverance. One of the esteemed speakers was none other than Mr. Bill Cosby. Mr. Cosby related many of his experiences navigating through the comic circuit during times when integration and the civil rights movement were distant dreams for the future. His message followed a story about a break he received in his live comic years where he completely bombed. Mr. Cosby's account detailed a show where he performed for an affluent, predominantly-white audience that gave him so much anxiety. They made him feel that because this audience had likely seen the best comics of the time, they would immediately know that he is not really funny.

Mr. Cosby's guidance was very parallel to what my parents always advise me, despite his life experiences seemingly being poles apart from my parents. His primary message was to prevent yourself from talking yourself out of the best of who you are.

What struck me as a parallel between Mr. Cosby and our Indian community is with some of our elders who disapprove of the younger generation and the direction they are guiding our community. Similarly, Mr. Cosby disapproves of the direction the younger generation is taking his community. He often publicly voices his disapproval of hip-hop culture and the lifestyles of the younger generation. His comments prompted several guardians of the younger generation to voice their defense and the New York Times referred to the battle as "generational warfare."

One of the arguments is that the younger generation is a product of the older one and it is hypocritical for the older generation to criticize the younger generation without taking a look at themselves first. Mr. Cosby accuses today's youth of neglecting their history and overlooking the gains paid for by the blood of their ancestors. The flipside to this accusation refers to Mr. Cosby's younger years and the lessons he preached. Ironically, many popular hip-hop artists cite Mr. Bill Cosby as their inspiration.

When our elders complain about our generation drinking or having sex or dating outside our culture, we are also accused of ignoring our roots, forgetting where we came from and disregarding the sacrifices that our parents made to ensure opportunities for us. I sometimes wonder, were all of our grandparents wholeheartedly supportive of our parents picking up and moving to the other side of the world? Though many of our parents make it sound like it was such an easy decision and everyone in the family was wholly supportive of the global transition, I somewhat suspect that there must have been some grandparents that would have preferred their children to stay close to home. Did any of our parents defy their parents' wishes and leave the country anyway? I personally know of a handful that did.

Maybe that is where some of our strong will and determination comes from. The elders in my family often tell me that I am hard-headed and that I will do what I want to do despite what anyone tells me (including my parents). When I sit back and think about it, gee, where did I get that from? My mother is the most hard-headed and self-determined woman that I know. There is no one in the world that could tell my mother what to do (or what not to do). If she sets her mind on doing something, she is going to do it. I have a very hard time envisioning anyone, even her elders, standing in her way. Perhaps that is part of the drive and determination that got us to today, and that is what will take us to tomorrow.

Mr. Bill Cosby has been cited in several interviews accusing the younger generation of failing the civil rights movement by not holding up their end of the deal. His comments are often harsh, quoted once as saying to the younger generation, "Even God is tired of you."

Our elders have sharp tongues too. Mr. Bill Cosby really could get some pointers from our elders. Regardless, another speaker from the event guided the responsibility to the youth. He said, "We started it, you finish it." The torch must get passed on to every succeeding generation. That is a timeless truth. And perhaps to add to Mr. Cosby's words of advice, "Don't allow yourself to talk yourself out of being the best of who you are." Not even your elders.